Cleft palate

My family story this week is to tell about an unusual genetic trait that runs in our family. At least it seems to.

Nathan was born the end of July and his 2-month checkup showed his uvula wasn't quite right (this is the little piece of skin that hangs down in the back of the throat). We were sent to an ENT who determined he had a cleft, splitting the uvula in two. The cleft also came just a little way up into his soft palate as well.

No surgery would be needed until he was about 18 months to correct it.

Fast forward a couple of years and my cousin Stephanie on the Seamons side gave birth to a baby boy with a full cleft that came all the way through his soft and hard palate and part of his lip. He has had to have several major surgeries to correct it.

During one family reunion as we sat and discussed these findings, my granny informed us that Sherwin, my dad's twin, also had a partial cleft resulting in his speech sounding a little nasally. 

The ironic thing is all three were male and all three were the third born in their family.

Nathan dealt with ear issues as a baby and toddler. He had four sets of tubes and has had to really work on several of his sounds to correctly pronounce them.

Best Mom Award happened the day before his 8th birthday, again involving his ears. You can read all about it here.

These are the days of . . . 
* subbing A LOT. Like every day. Which is good. We need the cash right now. An added bonus is I get to check in on my kids once in awhile, like Erik's AP Calculus class where I sat at my desk and surreptitiously took these photos of him and his cousin Scott working hard. And they were . . . working hard . . . for the most part.

My full name -- Story #1

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

How do you write your personal history?

One story at a time.

Family Search has issued a 52-week challenge to write one story a week. I've tried various methods over the years to record my personal history and am going to attempt to do so again. Not only is it good for posterity but who doesn't enjoy listening to personal stories when talks or lessons are given. Recall is going to be my stumbling block with this goal.

Nephi didn't begin recording his history until some 30 years later. Eight years in the wilderness; time on a boat; and time spent setting up a new life in a new place. Who's got time to write and record. I can understand why it took him awhile to get started. Lack of writing utilities I'm sure was also cumbersome. But I do believe that the Lord also wanted some time for his experiences to sit and marinate. With time comes perspective that allows you to really contemplate and reflect on experiences. The whole picture can be pieced together including the whys and hows which sometimes is quite impossible to do when you are smack dab in the middle of life.

STORY#1
What is your full name? Why did you parents give you that name?

My full name upon birth was Melissa Seamons. My mom and dad didn't believe girls should have middle names since they would have a long enough name when they got married. So neither me nor my sisters have middle names or initials. And that tradition has continued with both my girls -- Kiersten and Ashlyn. When I got married and eventually had to get a new social security card with my married name on it, I decided to include an S. as my middle initial which stands for Seamons.

The significance of my name is simply that my parents liked it. It was their intention that I would be called Melissa. However, Grandma Seamons began calling me Little Miss, Mystified, Miscellaneous, Missy -- anything but Melissa -- and my mom wasn't especially thrilled that the nickname stuck.

Nicknames are a big part of the Seamons family. I have a cousin we call Moose, another is Agnes; one brother named Mac, another Reedy-bug. Erik has been dubbed the Deadly One and Kiersten is Queen Bee.

I wish I could say I actually like the name Missy. It was fine as a child. I went to school with three other Melissa's so it was nice to be differentiated. As an adult, though, it's been hard to accept. I felt like I had this identity crisis, like I didn't know who I was. During my first week of college, my roommates knew me as Melissa until my mom called our apartment asking for Missy and no one knew who that was. Associations can be really hard to break and I still have a college roommate who refers to me as Melissa.

We moved to Magna and my church records identified me as Melissa. I never really corrected anyone until they would hear Tyler call me Missy. Our good friends, the Goldens, called me Melissa for a long time.

Since then I've corrected people from the start and tell them I go by Missy. That has worked for 10 years until I started substitute teaching. I always leave a note for the teacher about how the class went and now I had a dilemma. Do I sign it Melissa or Missy? In the system it shows me as Melissa, and in an effort to not cause any confusion I've signed my name Melissa. However, as I've gotten to know teachers on a first name basis, I will let them know I actually go by Missy.

Who knew a name could be so complicated!! At least there is little question as to whether I am male or female. And I rarely ever have to spell my name or pronounce it for anyone. I've come across a few doozies in my classes and feel badly for those whose names are way more complicated than mine.

Missy I am. And Missy I will always be.

These are the days of . . . 
*Covert trips to grandma's. Ash went without Alex for this 4-day weekend. We're all wondering when he's going to clue in that she isn't home.

*ACT tests. Erik took a practice ACT test and I proctored one of the sections. I came home with a test booklet for Nate to try at least the math.

*Not even an interview. I applied for a job as the librarian at Stansbury High School. I don't have a degree in library science and I don't have a license but I really think I could have done a great job and would have enjoyed it. I talked to the principal and they've already interviewed and will announce the new librarian next week. I'm bummed but not down-an-out. I'll simply move on with my other options.

Remembering Wholeness

No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.

--Confucius

I decided a few months ago that I simply was not reading enough. Since September I've read six and am working my way through two more. My book review today, however, is a book I read long ago, dog-earring so many pages that I loved. 

And it sat and sat, waiting patiently for me to do something about those marked up pages. Today's the day.

Remembering Wholeness. The author talks a lot of finding energy in the universe and using this energy to create a better life for ourselves. A lot of it I found kind of hokey. She seemed to have this idea of being able to be in complete control of her life. I don't agree with that premise. I think the moment we think we have complete control, God will ensure that we don't. BUT, a lot of tidbits I wholeheartedly agreed with, and those little nuggets are what are captured below.

*Thriving is more than having a lot of money, a physically fit body, and great relationships. Thriving is a spiritual experience. You can know who you are and why you are here. Thriving is having an ongoing rich relationship with the heavens and calling upon its powers to effect tremendous outcomes in behalf or your life and others.

*If you want to know what the most powerful beliefs are about yourself -- whether you are aware of them or not -- just look at your life.

*Start right now imagining your life exactly as you want it to be. . . . Pain and struggle are familiar to all of us, yet it is not our natural state. Our natural state is to feel good and to know happiness.

*We come into this world with the soul intent on remembering who we are -- our gifts, our glory, our power, and our god-self. We choose an interesting way of remembering: we are remembering by experiencing who we are not.

*The heavens want to assist in creating that which brings us more joy. They want us to be in a state of joy so we can move through our lives giving joy to more people. Do not sit and wait for God to make your life better. Set an intention to partner with God in creating a wonderful life, and you will experience the miracle of how quickly it can happen.

*By choosing to be accountable and taking ownership of everything you experience, you will really have the power to create a wonderful life. . . . We learn more and more clearly what we do want as a byproduct of experiencing what we don't want. The next time you have an experience you don't want, ask yourself what you do want and start creating it.

*The success of God's plan is not dependent on us. There is always someone to replace us if we fail to fulfill our contracts. Does God love us any less if we choose out? I believe not. God has complete allowing and unconditional love for each of us, no matter what we do. If we fail to live a higher level of spirituality or choose out of our contracts, we deny ourselves blessings. We are not loved any less; we have just chosen a different experience.

*[God] wants us each to create as much success as possible; he compares us with no one. It really is up to you. What do you want to experience? What do you want to acquire spiritually? Don't be so hard on yourself. Have more fun and be more playful with all of this. It is meant to bring us joy now, not just a byproduct of joy later.

*Come unto Christ and become God-reliant as well as self-reliant. (Oooh, I really liked that.)

*Albert Einstein once said, "I want to know the thoughts of God; everything else is details." In a state of charity, we know the thoughts of God. We are connected to the light of Christ so completely, it is as if the light of heaven and the thoughts of God communicate to our intelligence directly.

These are the days of . . . 
*My Grandpa DeLaMare's birthday. It's today, November 27. He was an airplane mechanic in India during WWII.

*Santa letters . . . seems pretty easy, right. And you got to love free!

*Marshmallow pyramids

*The neverending college applications which inundate our mailbox and now have Erik's name on them along with Kiersten's

*And even more wonderful neighbors who send my kids home with food. Got to love those friends who work for Kellogg's. She assured me that my kids did not tell her they were starving. We do eat :) We are just eating food from our food storage because this is the very reason it's there.

Kiersten's Junior Prom

Never did I ever think I would some day have a child go to prom. It was so far away. So out there. But it came . . . and went.

Kiersten was gorgeous. She was so dead set on finding an orange dress (her favorite color) but when she tried that blue one on, we both knew it was the one. It was a good fit and the color was beautiful. Several times throughout the week I had told Tyler that Friday night we were going to promenade. He couldn't quite figure out why we were going to prom.

Small towns still do a dance involving the juniors. I did it at my prom. I know at some they invite the parents to do one dance afterwards with their child. I told Tyler to be happy he didn't have to do that. Prom was at the state capitol building in the rotunda. Everyone participating in the promenade got their name read as they descended down the staircase. Kind of magical and fairytalelike. But I was so nervous for Kiersten, knowing she was in heels on a very slippery marble floor. I just prayed she would make it down the stairs okay.

All this hoopla of asking and answering and finding a dress and corsages and dates and hairdos made me think back to my own prom.

My first date ever was to prom. Josh Gordon, a sophomore like me, and I would sit in Brother Norton's Old Testament seminary class and talk the entire hour. I wasn't a very good kid so not sure why I ended up with an A+.

He asked me a week before prom (which was 5 days after my 16th birthday) with 3 roses at the school office. That didn't give me much time to find a dress. I'm sure my mother about went crazy with such short notice.

I was excited to go even though the look on both our faces looks painful.

I remember buying the dress through a catalog which was a good thing because the next year I wore it again for my own junior prom. My date was Mike Larson, a boy in my ward. 

I remember doing a progressive dinner and doing something afterwards at a friends house, but that's about all I remember. And maybe that's all I remember because I at least have this one photo.

Reminiscing is sure fun but man, I'd never want to go back to high school again. Although, a friend and I were talking this morning on our walk about living our lives over again but differently. I know if I ever had the chance to go back to high school, I would not be the same person that I was back then. I would be more self-confident, self-assured, more kind, and worry less about others opinions. I worry less about the trivial little romances that seemed to pop up and instead make more lasting friendships. And the permed hair! would definitely go. There is wisdom that comes with age.

Good things
photos
walks
journals

Paul Bay Ellis

Today was a long emotional day as Tyler and me and Alex attended another funeral.

Another great man has been called home. And again he left much too early at the age of 51.

We got the news last Friday morning that Tyler's Uncle Paul had passed away.

His wife Amy had come home from work to attend a funeral and found him unresponsive. The paramedics were unable to revive him.

Tyler got his first finance-related job with Washington Mutual Bank because of Paul, who worked in some capacity for them. Many of the employees would in fact confuse Tyler for Paul. Apparently they look somewhat alike :)

(Photo taken by Camilla Gomez Bottelberghe)

As I've been thinking about the loss of two great men, my Uncle Russell and now Tyler's Uncle Paul, I've been deeply saddened for their families and for the experiences and life they miss out on. I feel for their grandchildren who will never know their grandpa and for wives who will grow old alone.

Life is precious. Life is fragile. Life is not to be wasted.

The true tragedy is a life taken too early who was not yet ready to go. Both of these men had their lives in order. They had their priorities straight. I hope they both left with no regrets.

Yes, I truly believe in life after death. I know that families are eternal and one day we will have that chance to become reacquainted. Death is not the end and what a glorious thing that is. What a magnificent gift Jesus Christ gave to everyone one. As my dad said in the talk he gave at Russell's funeral, those who pass on are simply on the other side of the wall. They're not that far from us.

I've also been contemplating the characteristics of these two men, and thinking about what I'd want others to remember me for, and there seems to be a common theme between the two of them: service. Both devoted their lives to the service of others.

Russell was generous to the core. He gave so much of his time and money that his own wife, my aunt, didn't know about a lot of it. And Paul was the auto mechanic, roofer, plummer, electrician, all-around handyman for his friends and neighbors who are going to sorely miss him. He was generous with his boat and came every summer to East Canyon to take anyone who wanted out on the lake.

Isn't that what the gospel is all about?

Isn't is about serving and helping elevate others and bringing joy and happiness to those in our circle of influence.

I believe these two men were some of the happiest because they knew what love was and what is was to love as Christ would love, through a life devoted to others.

Looking outward instead of inward . . . that's where the meaning of life lies.

Russell Glenn Seamons

A great man was taken home today.

Much too early, at the age of 64.

My uncle Russ (sitting next to my grandma above) was my dad's older brother by 2 years. Russ and the twins were quite a trio for a number of years.

He was fit and healthy and unfortunately was cursed with my grandpa's bad heart genes who died at age 55 from a heart attack.

Eight months earlier (almost to the day) my Uncle Russell suffered a major heart attack and lived to have a 6 coronary artery bypass operation.

I think we all thought he had defied the odds. In fact he was just given a good bill of health several months ago. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, and in this instance he took a very good man. One of the best. For several years he watched over my grandma as her health failed her (1928-2012). And for many years before that he routinely took tremendous care of my great-grandma Zetta Knowles (1905-2005). His was a life devoted to service.

I'm afraid I just might have inherited my family's bad heart genes. Awhile ago I was asked to participate in a cleft palate study. One of the things they did was take my blood and in return they sent me the results. Everything looked good except my cholesterol.

I have high cholesterol.

Nobody likes to hear that, especially someone disposed to heart failure. I'm really sad to see two of my besties get the boot, but ice cream and butter, you're just no good to me anymore. My sister in law told me if I keep running and eating healthy I'd be fine.

I'm afraid that ain't so. Family genetics trumps everything.

The Exterminators: Don't Mouse with Us

Several months ago one of my Facebook friends posted about their run in with mice while living in their first marital apartment. Oh the memories that conjured up. Below is a nice little write up I put in a scrapbook (way back when that was the in thing) about Tyler and my first apartment in Logan for the first year of our marriage.

Our minute apartment was one of two in the basement of an older home. In addition to the two in the basement, there was one on the main floor and one in the rafters.

The rent was $225 a month which allowed us to save a lot of money and graduate debt free. The walls were paper thin; we quickly learned to talk very quietly if we didn’t want anyone to hear us. The ceiling peaked a few inches higher than Tyler, hence there was no stretching your arms above your head. Our kitchen, living room, and bathroom were all one room with a meager accordion door to close off the bathroom.

The shower was separate from the bathroom and located in one corner of the back room. The living room was so constricted we weren’t able to even fit a couch. It was a very weird setup.

Not to mention our apartment housed the water heaters for all four apartments. Our full-size bed barely fit into our bedroom leaving no room for a dresser.

We had no closet but luckily several shelves lined part of one wall. In addition to the smallness, we had no control of our heat. You could always tell who was home upstairs by whether it was freezing or very hot. Our one life saver was the storage room we had outside our front door. If it weren’t for that I don’t where we would have put things.

With our apartment came enormous spiders free of charge. Before we realized we even had a problem with spiders, we had slept on the living room/kitchen floor to watch a movie. Had we known we were supposedly hibernating with spiders, I think we would have slept in our own bed. I captured one and took it to the USU County Extension Office only to learn they were called hobo spiders or aggressive house spiders. If they bit you, your skin would eventually start to rot away. Great! We became very careful about not leaving our clothes on the floor. One night within five hours we killed ten spiders. On more than one occasion I’d awaken to find a spider perched on the wall right by my head. It was a little nerve racking.

Furthermore, we also had a family of mice move into our storage room for a month. They ate plenty of our food and ruined a lot of items by climbing in and out of boxes. I became so paranoid that I wouldn’t go into the storage room. It was Tyler’s job to kill and haul them out. On several nights we would lie in bed and hear the trap go off and wonder how many we were going to end up killing. In all we ended up exterminating thirteen. Then in the spring, within a week’s time, three bumblebees succeeded in finding their way in to our apartment (all at different times). They seemed attracted to a glass container sitting in our window which is where all three perished. Living there absolutely made us more grateful for the luxuries in life.

As I read back on this little narrative, I wish I had taken more pictures. The few I have just don't do it justice. And again this was before the advent of digital cameras when society became very snap happy. The sign above was something we made to put in the window to the door that led to all three apartments. Our neighbors, the Grigsbys, taped The Exterminators sign after our little mouse escapade. I'm sure they heard those pesky rodents too and were quite thrilled to have us deal with their demise.

I have an announcement

Announcement, announcement, announcement

A horrible death to die,

A horrible death to die,

A horrible death to talk to death,

A horrible death to die.

Announcement, announcement, announcement.

Anytime, anyone has said announcement these past couple of of weeks, that little catchy tune that I used to sing at girls camp many, many years ago would run through my brain. This is something I haven't thought of in years!

I think I was being prepared for a new calling in addition to my Primary Music Leader job.

I was called to be the assistant/co camp director for our ward.

Wow! It's been 20 years since I've been. I LOVED girls camp and I'm quite sure I never really understood all the time that my leaders put in to making it successful. But these days they have themes and camp chefs and I'm sure a whole lot more that I'm not attuned to. I'm a little nervous.

But I am excited. Kiersten's excited. Ash is wishing she could go (you've got three more years girl).

(me at girls camp my first year hiding behind our craft)

(me in the sunglasses holding our clean camp award; my mom is on the end)

 (ready to head out my second year; I'm hiding in the back with the short hair)

(last year; I went after I graduated from high school)

 I'm still not exactly sure what my role is going to be. The actual camp director is going to be 8 months pregnant and the stake won't allow her to attend. I know I would hate to put in all the work and time that goes in to getting ready for girls camp and then not be able to see it carried out. I'll have to see just how much she really wants to be involved.

Although between me and you, I secretly want all the help she's willing to give me.

Purging

I'm attempting to clean out and organize years of papers. Papers that have just gradually piled up. I have a habit of writing thoughts and impressions that come to me on little scraps of paper and sadly they get buried . . . deep, never to be retrieved for several years.

I seriously threw out the BYU Women's Conference booklets from 2006, 2007, and 2009. Now why would I hold onto those? I'm sure I had a reason at the time, but by now my memory has failed me. So to still preserve some of the things I must have recorded for a reason, here ya go.

Wealth lies not in the extent of our possessions, but in the fewness of wants.

Alex: "Ashie sang Jingle Bells and it was beautiful."

Alex: "It's frozen out here." (I think he meant freezing.)

Nate in discussing real Christmas trees versus fake Christmas trees: "We live in a world with so much artificial stuff. It's nice to have something real."

LDS bishop post on Facebook: A family living in a trailer park was needing some help and someone posted on Facebook that they could contact so and so who was an LDS bishop. I thought how nice it is that the church is known for helping those in need, whether they are members of our congregations or not.

Look at what else I uncovered:

This is something Tyler wrote about me for church one Sunday when we were newlyweds living in a small Logan apartment, doing our best to get through college 16 YEARS AGO!! This scrap of paper has moved from Logan to Salt Lake to Magna to Stansbury and finally here to Lake Point.

Some of it is true. I was born on March 9 in Logan. We did have a tree house we played in a lot. It was more like a house on stilts.

(1st tree house)

(2nd tree house that had electricity)

I do have two brothers but I remember a lot more fights with them than actual playing. In fact one day I wouldn't allow Reed to play house with me and Matt under a tarp out in the grove of trees in our front yard. Well, he wasn't too pleased with that and found a hammer and proceeded to hit me over the head with the claw end. I ended up only needing several stitches. I suspect he was only trying to knock some sense into me.

And as for fishing . . . I've never really enjoyed fishing. I simply don't have the patience for it, except maybe when we're reeling in striped bass as fast as we can.
If I had a million dollars, I would NOT buy scuba gear. I tried it once in our backyard pond and absolutely thought I was going to suffocate when I got to the bottom. I never really got the hang of breathing and couldn't stand the sight of fish swimming right in front of my face.

I do love my vacuum. Tyler thinks I always have this happy smile on my face when I'm vacuuming. Maybe I do. But he always has a happy smile on his face when he's driving MY Toyota truck. :)

And we definitely found the right small town to live in. Our little town reminds me so much of home but with more conveniences.

Stayed tuned for some other exciting pieces of history to be uncovered.

A proposal

Sixteen years ago today, I got a proposal of marriage.

But it wasn't my first.

Whoa.

Back up.

That's what I said. It wasn't my first.

I was 15 when an old an old seminary student of my dad's by the name of Michael Mower came to visit. I don't remember the details, but I do remember there was talk of an exchange for eight cows that thankfully never came to fruition.

Fast forward 6 years later to when I got a REAL proposal. (By the way Mike now works for the governor. Click here if you want to see what he looks like 22 years later.)

Since I don't remember details very well, it's a good thing I keep a journal. Some of the following came from there and also from the only scrapbook that I deem completely finished . . . Our Wedding.

How we became engaged. It was the day before my birthday (Saturday, March 8, 1996) and Tyler took me out to celebrate. Initially I thought we were headed to The Korea House to eat, but then he kept going and feigned forgetfulness. We ended up at the the Logan zoo and walked around a bit looking at all 10 animals (at least it seemed like that's all there were). As we were walking over the bridge overlooking the fish pond (which is no longer there), Tyler stopped and began "fishing" around in his pocket. At that moment I knew what was going to happen. My heart started racing and my hands got all sweaty. I was so nervous and flustered I said, "Are you serious?" and immediately followed up with a "yes" before he had even posed the question. How embarrassing that would have been if he had something else in mind. He did ask THE QUESTION and my answer was yes again. He later told me how my first yes made him feel pretty secure in asking.

[Insert commentary here] Tyler still likes to tease me about my initial response.

We hugged, we kissed, and put the ring on my finger. It was too small for my ring finger, but if fit my pinky. Tyler picked the ring out himself. I hadn't even told him what I liked nor had we looked at rings. But he did a great job and I love it.

After we finished looking at the animals, Tyler presented me with a real birthday present: Roller blades! I had always loved roller skating as a kid and was so excited to finally have some blades. We finally made it The Korea House. I'd never eaten Korean before so it was very different. Not bad but different. I tried kimchi and squid. Not bad. I love him so much and am so excited to be married to him. This means no more roommates, my own fridge and cupboards, my own messes. It was a wonderful day!!

Sadly, this was in the days of film cameras when we didn't take a lot of pictures. I sure wish we had one of that day at the bridge and me eating kimchi and squid. Despite what I said above, they really are quite bad and I've never eaten them since.
This is probably our first photo together. Man we look young. But then again I guess we were. Tyler no longer wears paper clips on his shirts but for some reason I still have that jumper. I guess some things are just hard to part with. (Like for instance, my baby teeth. I still have them stashed away in the pink little treasure chest I got from the dentist when I was a kid and they have moved with me more than a few times.)
Here's a better photo, sometime shortly after our engagement.

And that is the start of Mr. and Mrs. Tyler Leary.