Basketball

Church ball has come to an end . . . and I am sad. I love watching my boys play together. Their time spent practicing together really pays off. Nate's code name is Stealing Arms and he lives up to it. He's great at reading the pass and getting the ball. Erik had some good passes and shots and both did well at the foul line. They went undefeated this year but had to pass up a chance at region since half the team would be a tennis tournament in St. George.

Young women church ball. Well, that's a whole 'nother animal. There is simply no comparison and it's quite frustrating to watch. I love coaching from the sidelines with their coach Jamie from Big Canyon. We have dubbed ourselves Big Lake, a combination of the two wards names. For one of Mel's personal progress projects, she needed to come to all our basketball games and play in each one for a minute. In our last game, Kiersten gave her the ball and cleared the area, allowing her to shoot. I was so thankful to that other team who allowed her that moment.

I've spent the last two weeks subbing English classes at the high school. One week for one teacher and another for a teacher I sub for frequently. One of these teachers gifted me with a gift card, something I've never had happen. I guess I can consider it a bonus. Truthfully, I love substitute teaching.

 
These are the days of . . . 
* funny thoughts. Tyler told Alex he was a good learner. Alex gave him a curious look and replied, "I am a good murderer?"

*ACT prep. Erik is scheduled for another test on Tuesday.

*possible moves. Tyler had a really good job opportunity come up . . . in Seattle . . . that looked really promising. Enough that we had started looking at areas to live and homes. But news came back that he would not be continuing on in the interview process. He was one of five. At least they had the courtesy to let him know which is more than any other company so far.

Faith in the middle

... there are some of us who are sorta stuck here in the middle of the story, God, and we don't know what the next chapter holds. 

We've got no idea how our hearts are about to get broken or when, what the doctor could end up saying tomorrow, how the kids will turn out, or what's on the next page or the one after that. 

And when you're stuck in the middle of the story? Well, honestly, it's easy to feel at the end of your rope. 

And You pull us close, real close: "I’d never forget you—never.
Look, I’ve written your names on the backs of my hands." Isa 49:16

You've etched the very letters of our name, of who we are, right into You. 
You haven't forgotten us or this chapter or this story, and if You haven't forgotten us, we're not about to go forgetting that Your stories always work out in the end -- and if things aren't working out quite yet, it just means we're not quite yet to the end. We'll literally practice our faith -- we'll practice saying thanks in the middle.

Faith thanks God in the middle of the mess, 
Faith thanks God in the middle of the night,
Faith thanks God in the middle of the story -- 

Because it believes in the relentless goodness of Him who will won't stop writing till there's good at the end of this story. 

--Ann Voskamp, Facebook feed

Cleft palate

My family story this week is to tell about an unusual genetic trait that runs in our family. At least it seems to.

Nathan was born the end of July and his 2-month checkup showed his uvula wasn't quite right (this is the little piece of skin that hangs down in the back of the throat). We were sent to an ENT who determined he had a cleft, splitting the uvula in two. The cleft also came just a little way up into his soft palate as well.

No surgery would be needed until he was about 18 months to correct it.

Fast forward a couple of years and my cousin Stephanie on the Seamons side gave birth to a baby boy with a full cleft that came all the way through his soft and hard palate and part of his lip. He has had to have several major surgeries to correct it.

During one family reunion as we sat and discussed these findings, my granny informed us that Sherwin, my dad's twin, also had a partial cleft resulting in his speech sounding a little nasally. 

The ironic thing is all three were male and all three were the third born in their family.

Nathan dealt with ear issues as a baby and toddler. He had four sets of tubes and has had to really work on several of his sounds to correctly pronounce them.

Best Mom Award happened the day before his 8th birthday, again involving his ears. You can read all about it here.

These are the days of . . . 
* subbing A LOT. Like every day. Which is good. We need the cash right now. An added bonus is I get to check in on my kids once in awhile, like Erik's AP Calculus class where I sat at my desk and surreptitiously took these photos of him and his cousin Scott working hard. And they were . . . working hard . . . for the most part.

Utah Valley University

My goal of writing more is getting all shot to heck. Life is busy.

This girl finally got the piece of mail she's been waiting for. Utah Valley University is getting an incredibly smart, talented, dedicated, thoughtful, righteous girl. As much as we give her grief about her decision to digress from the family alma mater, Utah State to become a wolverine, I know she knows how to receive revelation and this is the decision that brings peace to her.

Wanna know how you know you're getting answers? Well, really internalize your feelings. Are you conflicted or do you feel calm? When peace comes you will know it and you will know that that is your answer to whatever you are seeking.

For me the spirit is calm and peaceful and I relish those days when such feelings are in abundance and build confidence in my choices.

These are the days of . . .
*tennis. Conditioning has started and I can't wait to watch my boys play this year.

*Winter Ball which included a dinner at our house with snowman building beforehand.

*All About Me poster. I'm a smart mom and held on to the poster from last year. All we had to do this year was add a picture or two. I also happened to be subbing one day and got to take his picture.

Falling Free

This book has haunted me from the first day I discovered it. The back reads "Shannan Martin had the perfect life: a cute farmhouse on six rambling acres, a loving husband, three adorable kids, money, friends, a close-knit church -- safe, happy existence." Insert my name and it could be my story and just like God pulled the rug out from under her safe existence, I feel like he has done the same with me and my family.

I read it as though God were speaking to me as I dog-eared just about every other page. She talks about faith, her plunge from security, looking past the comfortable. I haven't had a book cause me to rethink so many facets of my life like this one has. She is also an incredibly good writer. It just may be one of the best books of 2017 and we're only a month in.

QUOTES FROM THE BOOK

"It's hard to pine for heaven when you already believe you're there."

"We stand in worship services and sing our hearts out about things like faith and trusting God in deep waters. We say God is all we need, but what we really mean is, 'All we need is God, our family, the promise of safety, and money.' We sing like we mean it while we pray to God we'll never find out if we really do. What would happen if everything but God were swept away? Would he really be enough?"

"Surrender is always the beginning of a better dream."

"Each of us is charged with finding a way to partner with God and the work to ransom his people. This is something we get to do, our capacity to love expanded through his enduring love for us. Though we are prone to causing trouble and putting ourselves first, only because God's refusal to take us at face value, he invites us to the party and gives us a first-row seat to the way he redeems a universe of orphaned souls into the treasured family of God."

"In pursuit of our hearts, he reminds us that his is tethered to relationships, not things. . . . What we call freedom was really self-proud independence in disguise. We wanted to owe nothing, depend on no one. We wanted to be the boss of our lives, never stopping to consider that our perspective ran contrary to the fundamentals of the faith we said governed us."

"There's a difference between being too scared to do hard things and doing hard things scared. Communing with the God of the universe will inspire all kinds of unscripted movement and giant leaps  past "normal." It will make surrendering seem like the safest way."

"So you might have a family. You might have a job, a hobby, and a home that you love. You might think that all the big items have been checked off the list and you're mostly settled into a groove, done. But maybe there's more. Maybe there's something over in the west or off the east a little. Wherever it is, let's trust the sender."

"The shortest routes to relationships are carved when everyone takes two giant steps past the gates of their comfort and toward each other."

"When God told my family to stand right there, in this particular neighborhood of this particular city, he called all of us. He's not in the business of fragmenting families or risking some for the sake of others."

"We used to think our job was to love God, follow is commandments, and keep our family cloistered from the world around a future where our kids would remain gated in privilege, though we never would have phrased it that way. We imagined a future for them in the stable majority. We looked around, seeing many different versions of ourselves, and believed it was the story God had penned for our family. So we jotted our own words on the page, careful not to change the script. It took time to bring my heart to the place of accepting that maybe God's best for my kids looked different from what I had assumed. Note to self: If I ever wonder why God's plan doesn't unfold more quickly, it's because it takes me so flipping long to let go and get on board."

"He ways to give all that we have, hoard nothing, and let him handle the bookkeeping. If I say I follow him, I should care about the things he care about. Even and especially if it costs me something. But it's one thing to understand and a whole 'nother thing to try and rewire a heart built on believing what's mine is mine."

"For the forty-eight hours [my children and I] spent apart, I was fixated primarily on my two fragile nutcases. I missed them all -- in the special way you "miss" your kids when you finally get a break from them. I most certainly loved all three of them equally, but my mind and heart were fixed on the needy ones. I couldn't stop thinking about them, praying for them, rooting them on. My soul had drawn near to them, because they were desperate for me. And we wonder why God allows us to stay mired in conflict, trouble, and pain. We'd really rather God draw near to us while we flit about our merry way, solving our own problems and polishing the silver. We don't want to run to him like a child. That would be silly, and we're professional adults, stouthearted and capable, with creases in our slacks. We don't want that kind of faith. We want logical. Sturdy. Exemplary. It doesn't feel good to emotionally unhinge, so we keep holding it together while we steer our own ship. We know he's still with us, and some days we remember he still loves us. But we settle for a life unmarked by depth and purpose, because those things come at the cost of practicality and esteem. We adore practicality. It makes us feel so capable and smart."

Are you there God? It's me, Missy.

Today has been a rough day. I've been subbing every day but nothing popped up today which left me feeling a little stressed.

It's been snowing all day and the sun is taking a winter hiatus. Normally, I would relish a day like today. To sit home and drink hot cocoa with one of my many books I'm in the middle of. Maybe in another life where life is more secure and comfortable.

I wonder what good I am doing in my calling. For three months I haven't put a lot of effort into it. Frankly, I've been a little preoccupied with other earthly concerns. I'm squeaking by.

I feel like my prayers have been bouncing off ceilings and walls and floors and just not quite making it out the door. There are several items on my plate that I really would like an answer too, but God wants me to struggle on.

I get to look at this 2017 theme for a few days in my office before I tack it up at the church. If anyone lacks wisdom and understanding and assurance and peace, it's certainly me. I know those answers will come; sometimes it means getting out of the boat with a heart filled with trust; sometimes it means to keep paddling that boat even if it's in circles.

In the midst of my blue day, one of my Laurels tagged me in an Instagram post. The original post said, "When serving in the Church we have the chance to make a big difference. Tag a leader who has changed your life!"

That one little tag of encouragement made all the difference and brightened my soul. I love each one of them. This calling has given me a small glimpse into one aspect of the atonement, the individual sacrifice for each person.

Christ did not carry out the atonement for all of mankind as a collective whole. He did it one by one. That is how I have tried to minister to these girls. One by one. A dance performance here. A text there. A note in the mail. A sunshine basket for another. I've wanted them to know they are loved most importantly as an individual more than a collective whole as the Lake Point Young Women.

Life is good. I often tell myself on bad days that "this too shall pass." However, those good days "too shall pass." It is inevitable that there will be bad days intermixed with the good. I'm grateful for one of my flock who sprinkled rays of sunshine into one of my stormy days.

My full name -- Story #1

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

How do you write your personal history?

One story at a time.

Family Search has issued a 52-week challenge to write one story a week. I've tried various methods over the years to record my personal history and am going to attempt to do so again. Not only is it good for posterity but who doesn't enjoy listening to personal stories when talks or lessons are given. Recall is going to be my stumbling block with this goal.

Nephi didn't begin recording his history until some 30 years later. Eight years in the wilderness; time on a boat; and time spent setting up a new life in a new place. Who's got time to write and record. I can understand why it took him awhile to get started. Lack of writing utilities I'm sure was also cumbersome. But I do believe that the Lord also wanted some time for his experiences to sit and marinate. With time comes perspective that allows you to really contemplate and reflect on experiences. The whole picture can be pieced together including the whys and hows which sometimes is quite impossible to do when you are smack dab in the middle of life.

STORY#1
What is your full name? Why did you parents give you that name?

My full name upon birth was Melissa Seamons. My mom and dad didn't believe girls should have middle names since they would have a long enough name when they got married. So neither me nor my sisters have middle names or initials. And that tradition has continued with both my girls -- Kiersten and Ashlyn. When I got married and eventually had to get a new social security card with my married name on it, I decided to include an S. as my middle initial which stands for Seamons.

The significance of my name is simply that my parents liked it. It was their intention that I would be called Melissa. However, Grandma Seamons began calling me Little Miss, Mystified, Miscellaneous, Missy -- anything but Melissa -- and my mom wasn't especially thrilled that the nickname stuck.

Nicknames are a big part of the Seamons family. I have a cousin we call Moose, another is Agnes; one brother named Mac, another Reedy-bug. Erik has been dubbed the Deadly One and Kiersten is Queen Bee.

I wish I could say I actually like the name Missy. It was fine as a child. I went to school with three other Melissa's so it was nice to be differentiated. As an adult, though, it's been hard to accept. I felt like I had this identity crisis, like I didn't know who I was. During my first week of college, my roommates knew me as Melissa until my mom called our apartment asking for Missy and no one knew who that was. Associations can be really hard to break and I still have a college roommate who refers to me as Melissa.

We moved to Magna and my church records identified me as Melissa. I never really corrected anyone until they would hear Tyler call me Missy. Our good friends, the Goldens, called me Melissa for a long time.

Since then I've corrected people from the start and tell them I go by Missy. That has worked for 10 years until I started substitute teaching. I always leave a note for the teacher about how the class went and now I had a dilemma. Do I sign it Melissa or Missy? In the system it shows me as Melissa, and in an effort to not cause any confusion I've signed my name Melissa. However, as I've gotten to know teachers on a first name basis, I will let them know I actually go by Missy.

Who knew a name could be so complicated!! At least there is little question as to whether I am male or female. And I rarely ever have to spell my name or pronounce it for anyone. I've come across a few doozies in my classes and feel badly for those whose names are way more complicated than mine.

Missy I am. And Missy I will always be.

These are the days of . . . 
*Covert trips to grandma's. Ash went without Alex for this 4-day weekend. We're all wondering when he's going to clue in that she isn't home.

*ACT tests. Erik took a practice ACT test and I proctored one of the sections. I came home with a test booklet for Nate to try at least the math.

*Not even an interview. I applied for a job as the librarian at Stansbury High School. I don't have a degree in library science and I don't have a license but I really think I could have done a great job and would have enjoyed it. I talked to the principal and they've already interviewed and will announce the new librarian next week. I'm bummed but not down-an-out. I'll simply move on with my other options.