God is in the details, even (especially) when they change

I stole that blog title from a post I saw this past week. I loved it and have been thinking about it . . . a lot. God is in the details of our lives and most especially when life blindsides you with a drastic change. It is in those moments that I am reminded that my life's story is really about the story God has in place for me. It's about the story I covenanted to live before coming to this earth. And sometimes I have to be reminded that my life story may not really be what I envisioned.

Three years ago the story of my life was reading like a horribly boring book (INSERT: At Home in Mitford, a book club book with no plot or climax that very nearly brought me to tears as I struggled to finish it). I was comfortable. Really comfortable. Tyler had a great job. I was working as a sub when I felt like it. My kids were all doing well. I was looking forward to having all my kids in school all day (none of that half day kindergarten nonsense that messes with your whole day). And then like any good story, it quickly became a page turner where I wasn't sure how my story was going to end. But unlike most page turners that keep me up, I wasn't sure I wanted to find out either.

Three years later, I did finish that installment. And I'm still here to discuss it. Many of those chapters contained gut-wrenching fear. I had always considered faith to be one of my defining gifts from God, but this time I had to really struggle for it. I simply didn't trust God that he could OR WOULD somehow makes things work out.

There were also some chapters that I frankly just didn't like. I liked my old life. I was happy there. But I also know that there is no growth in being comfortable. We only grow stronger when our bodies, our minds, our spirits are stretched and hurt a little. Going back to school, starting a full-time job, sending off a missionary, planning a wedding really stretched me like a taut rubber band. I didn't break (even though there were days I didn't know that I could do another thing), but I did hurt and I now know that I am capable of doing harder things than I thought possible.

And then there were those chapters that were simply beautiful and wonderful. Sending off a missionary who is doing great things in Florida and having a daughter married and finishing college are both such good things. But moreso is that ah-ha moment when you realize that God knows you way better than you know yourself. I was pretty certain I wanted to teach upper elementary, 5th or 6th, but God knew better and put me in a much better place with a great team

and a herd of 2nd graders where I feel like I can really help them become better readers, a passion of mine.

The book I'm writing with my life story continues to grow. Recently our little communities of Stansbury Park and Lake Point have dealt with some hard tragedies. A young man decided life wasn't worth living anymore. A young girl, getting ready to graduate, was killed in a car wreck a month before graduation. A mom with four kids at home was diagnosed with cancer once week and died the next. And the author of my blog title had her young husband killed in a freak accident while on duty in Afghanistan, leaving her with seven children to raise by herself.

I'm sure these families were not expecting their life stories to change so drastically from the original outline. It's hard to understand the whys when you're smack dab in the middle and the story is still unresolved and you just want a miracle NOW. That muddled middle is not a fun place to be. But this much I do know. God is most certainly in that muddled middle with us with his muck boots on and mud up to his elbows. This is where miracles do occur maybe just not how we expect them to. He knows the end from the beginning and is the coauthor of your life story.  Trust that story to God and the ending will always leave you wanting more.

18 months later . . .

My return to college classes has come to a cessation. I turned in my last paper and finished attending my last class this past week. Now I'm just waiting for grades to finalize. I feel like I can return to being a mom again. It's been a grueling 18 months but I now have 32 credits post-baccalaureate. There were days and weeks I felt like the enslaved Nephites in the Book or Mormon.They prayed for some relief and instead of deliverance, the Lord blessed them with stronger backs. I too felt so overwhelmed and in bondage to everything required of me. But, the Lord helped me keep moving forward with the important things. I found time I didn't have to complete what needed to be done. Many times my kids stepped up to clean and cook when I wasn't available.

I loved what President Nelson said in our last conference a week ago: "If you are not sure you even believe in God, start there. Understand that in the absence of experiences with God, one can doubt the existence of God. So, put yourself in a position to begin having experiences with Him." This past year's experiences undoubtedly has left me with a knowledge that God lives. When faced with insurmountable fears and uncertainty, he "strengthened my back" and opened up my Red Sea that was before me. I think God permits these life experiences so that we will remember his grace, his goodness, his love. It is in these extremities that we come to know him.

To celebrate I treated myself to a session at the Salt Lake temple and a late night of finishing a book, Return to Red Castle. A backpacking trip to Red Castle in the Uintas is in the works for this summer so I knew I needed to revisit this book that I had read as a teenager.

Well, it was definitely fluff and kept me up late finishing it. Despite being a cheesy escape novel, it was worth reading again as the hike into this lake called Red Castle was described in the book. I'm excited to visit this summer. I'm also discovering that rereading books I read in my youth leaves me with a much different taste than I had the first time I read them.

Maybe this is why reading the scriptures over and over again is so valuable. With each read, I discover new insights simply because life is different with each reading.

My celebrating continued the next day as I cleaned out my pantry, fridge, and freezer. I cranked the music loud and went to town. I have projects to finish that I had to abandon for awhile. I have books to read and another half marathon to retrain for. Life is finally beginning to feel normal again. Whatever normal is. It seems like we have this certain story that we like to tell about our life and how it's going to be. But really, does anyone ever live the story they started out to write? There's always twist in the plot that you never seem to see coming. But it always gets solved one way or another. It's the plot twists that makes a good life story, isn't it?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Some funnies

*Alex was in the car with Tyler and me. He was playing some sort of word game on his Kindle when he piped up from the backseat, "Mom, do you know any 4-letter words that start with S?"

Hmmm . . . I sure do :)

*I had a student call me Alexa the other day. It's a title I'm not sure I've mastered yet.

*I also left a note on the board for my students to write me a post-it with something they learned that day (they had a sub). 

Entropy

Entropy.

My new favorite word.

Last summer as I was studying for my Praxis exam and studying anything and everything, I got to the section about the second law of thermodynamics which states that everything naturally moves towards a state of disorder and chaos. The word for this is entropy. You know when you go on vacation and come back to a lawn that needs mowing and a house that needs dusting and weeds that need pulling. Things will naturally decay over time unless we actively maintain them. The solution to entropy is work. 

Erik's room will never become organized and clean without some degree of work. Tyler's puzzles will never naturally fall together to form a picture without someone to put it together. We work to overcome that natural state of disorder. 

As I've thought about this word over the last eight months, I've come to the conclusion that if everything is spiritual to the Lord (D&C 29:34), then entropy must be an eternal principle and that there surely must be spiritual entropy as well. Lehi tells us in 2 Nephi that "there must be an opposition in all things."

Life and death.

Health and sickness.

New and old.

Growth and decay.

Love and hate.

Entropy and work.

Our bodies fight daily against this principle of entropy as they age. Are our spirits fighting daily as well?

It is the natural tendency for men and women to drift away from God and his commandments. This turning away brings disorder and chaos to our lives and in order to return, work must be involved. It is hard. It is not comfortable. It is not easy. Just like we must work to restore things to their original state, we must also actively and regularly look for ways to restore our relationship with God EVERY DAY (and I might add all relationships in our life). 

It isn't good enough to simply stop doing something to become converted to God and his commandments. Nephi didn't tell us he would go and believe what the Lord had commanded him. He didn't say he would go and think about it. No, he said, "I will go and do . . .," do being the key word. I know when my life become comfortable, I need to work harder at doing something to fill my soul with light or it will gradually slip back into the darkness.

I guess it's safe to assume that in the physical world, entropy always wins. But in matters of spirituality, I don't want to assume anything. We get to decide who will win: entropy or us.

Lower lights

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

--Matthew 5:14-16

A long time ago, noted preacher Dwight Moody told his congregation a story about a boat, helplessly rocking and plunging on a stormy, starless night near the Cleveland harbor. The mariners on board could see the lighthouse, but they needed to find their way through the narrow passage in the treacherous rocks that surrounded the harbor. Normally a light on the shore, aligned with the lighthouse, marked the passage to safety. But on this night, the lower lights had gone out.

Finally, the desperate captain decided they had no choice but to proceed into the harbor without the guidance of the lower lights. "With a strong hand and brave heart"—but in almost total darkness—"the old pilot turned the wheel." Tragically, he missed the channel, crashed the boat upon the rocks, and lost the lives of his sailors.

Moody then explained the lesson to be learned from his story:

The Master will take care of the great lighthouse, but He depends on us to keep the lower lights burning.

The storms of life put many around us in peril. They may long to approach the light of "our Father's mercy" but are unsure how to navigate the obstacles in their way. We all know how they feel, because each of us has been lost at sea from time to time.

Most often, God uses us to rescue them. If we can keep the light of faith burning in our hearts, if we align our light with the Light above, we can guide an exhausted mariner safely home. We can be the lower lights that "send a gleam across the wave. Some poor fainting, struggling seaman [we] may rescue, [we] may save."
--Music and the Spoken Work, March 2014

Philip Paul Bliss was inspired by Rev. Moody's sermon and penned a relatively unknown hymn titled "Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy."

Brightly beams our Father's mercy
From His lighthouse evermore, 
But to us He gives the keeping 
Of the lights along the shore.

Dark the night of sin has settled, 
Loud the angry billows roar; 
Eager eyes are watching, longing 
For the lights along the shore.

Trim your feeble lamp, my brother! 
Some poor sailor, tempest tossed, 
Trying now to make the harbor, 
In the darkness may be lost.

Chorus: 
Let the lower lights be burning, 
Send a gleam across the wave! 
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman 
You may rescue, you may save.

Disturber and Annoyer

I was reading in 1 Nephi 15, and in verse 5 Nephi tells us he is overcome with great afflictions that were great above all.

I began to think about the trials and adversity he had to face. I followed the cross-references and read about Moses and Joseph Smith, both great men who were also beset with great afflictions and I began to wonder why hard things, bad things, happen to good people who are trying to do the Lord's work.

My answer came as I read in Joseph Smith History 1:20 where Joseph Smith says, "I was destined to prove a disturber and an annoyer of [Satan's] kingdom; else why should the powers of darkness combine against me?"

It seemed to witness to me that those sincerely involved in the great work of bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of man would not have a life of leisure and pleasure. 

As I took stock of my own life, it was those times where life was comfortable and easy that Satan no longer saw me as a great threat and could back off a little. But those times when life was hard and uncomfortable, where I had to really dig in my heals to not quit, to keep moving forward, those were the times I was more fully committed to the gospel. Those were the times I was completely participating in the game of saving souls.

So if life seems hard know that Satan simply sees you as a disturber and annoyer of his kingdom and is working overtime to thwart you. Stay strong. I, for one, want to one day be able to have a membership along with Nephi, Moses, and Joseph Smith in the Disturber and Annoyer Club.

Our stake had a conference this week and President Child was very candid as he shared a point in his life where there really wasn't much left to live for after having a business deal go terribly wrong. With a small family and little hope in sight, he thought about a life insurance policy his family could cash in on should he step out of the picture.

This was shortly before the October 1999 general conference and an answer came so powerfully to him through the words of Elder Holland that testified of God's love and knowledge of him.

“Don’t give up, boy.
Don’t you quit.
You keep walking.
You keep trying.
There is help and happiness ahead . . .
You keep your chin up.
It will be all right in the end.
Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

And you know what, two weeks later things began to turn around for that man and his little family. My stake president is one of those might ones who holds a membership in the Disturber and Annoyer Club.

Surrendering

First I just have to say that Mother Nature has moved in a done a little decorating for us. The type of shingles we put on our house caused these icicles to form, looking like Christmas lights. Way cool, I think.


Lately, messages of faith and hope seem to appear on my screen, in my book, across the pulpit. They seem to be little messages from home to remind me that things are going to work out all right. Today's came from President Hinckley, one of the greatest optimists ever.

"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make."

I'm on pins and needles every day, wondering and waiting to see what the Lord has in store for us.

And while I wait, I've been fearfully gleaning a few pages at a time of a book titled, Falling Free, with a subtitle that says "Rescued from the Life I Always Wanted." To be honest, this book intimates me. Not with its size, but with its content. Frankly, I'm downright terrified to know what's in it because God sends messages to me through the printed medium, and I'm so scared He's got a new chapter of life with my name written all over it.

"There's a difference between being too scared to do hard things and doing hard things scared. Communing with the God of the universe will inspire all kinds of unscripted movement and giant leaps past 'normal.' It will make surrendering seem like the safest place. Surrender is always the beginning of a better dream."

These are the days of . . . 
*snowstorm upon snowstorm

*so much snow that has FINALLY brought the deer down to our backyard after 6 years of living here (I'm not really sure how I feel about them munching away on my plants)


*Photo credit to Claudia Jackson, my neighbor.

Time Out for Women

Several months ago I had a friend ask me about attending Time Out for Women. I've been once before and have loved going to Education Week and Women's Conference. And how fun it would be to go with Kiersten also. My friend signed both of us up.

It  came at a much needed time in my life where I was needing a little lifting and reprieve from the burdens of life.

I came home feeling my load lighter, not that anything has changed, but that my spirit and hope had been re-energized. There was a lot of laughter, a lot of tears, a lot of song, a lot of good feelings. Love those endorphins.

Some of my highlights:

*God sends messages in ways that are so personal to each of us in our own language
*When you choose God, you will never be the same -- MICHAEL MCLEAN (my favorite speaker)

*You're gonna need some faith in the middle to keep you moving forward -- HILARY WEEKS (really needed this)

*Celebrate the everyday miracles
*Assume the best
*Never hold back a compliment

*God does not answer our prayers the way we want. He answers them better -- always better -- ALISSA PARKER (lost a daughter at Sandy Hook Elementary)

*Church is a support group for Christians

*God will give us 6 goods before giving us the very good
*Jesus is always looking up and seeing people -- S. MICHAEL WILCOX

*We get so concerned with the beginnings and endings that our middles are a little restless -- MERCY RIVER

*Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good

*There is a difference between God allowing things to happen to us and willing things to happen -- LAUREL DAY

*Sometimes following the spirit makes us uncomfortable -- LISA VALENTINE CLARK

This last one reminded me of some advice given to me from my wonderful bishop:

Periodically we are allowed to see the wisdom in the test. One thing I know: this life is about growth more than it is about safety, security, recreation, or control. In fact, growth often only comes when we lose safety, security, and control.

These are the days of . . . 

*pie and thanksgiving -- the one thing I am most grateful for this season is the gift of prayer

*waiting -- those boys above are waiting for pie (so glad Linda snapped this picture) and we are waiting for job interview results

*Alex and George, his side-kick stuffed monkey

Come Follow Me

When I got this calling I wanted to change things up a bit regarding Sunday lessons. In the past the presidency rotated teaching the first Sunday of the month and the adviser taught the remaining Sundays. I've found I love teaching. I love seeing those light bulb moments. I love studying. There are some days when the lesson goes well and others where it seems to fall flat and as I've pondered why those lessons don't reach their mark, I've found that I've relied too much on myself and my own learning.

This newish curriculum for the youth, Come Follow Me, is awesome. If implemented correctly it's supposed to make my girls more of the teacher where I'm more of the facilitator. I know some teachers might think this gives them a freebie to sit back and not prepare. But here's a few things I've learned and discovered in the past couple of months about becoming a great teacher.

OLD: The teacher was a disseminator of knowledge and information. They put in the effort and time to prepare and study for the lesson and the student's job was to listen, take notes, and give a comment or two.

NEW: The teacher is required to study and study A LOT to be prepared for whichever direction the students choose to take it. That means most of the time you most likely will not share anywhere close to the material you studied. But when you've paid the price for study, the Holy Ghost is able to "bring all things to your remembrance" (John 14:26) in the very hour that you need it. Without study, it simply doesn't work.

OLD: The teacher did the majority of talking.

NEW: The students do the talking. The teacher is there to offer insights and keep the discussion from derailing. A teacher should do no more than 10% of the talking. And a lesson plan? Well, half a sheet of notes is probably sufficient.

OLD: Silence was NOT golden.

NEW: Silence is key to allowing the Holy Ghost to function. Wait for those responses. They will come. And that is where testimonies are strengthened. A testimony is found in the bearing of it not in the hearing someone else testify.

OLD: Sunday school questions will always get Sunday school answers.

NEW: Great questions require thinking and pondering and open up the discussion.

OLD: Note taking was about writing down everything the teacher had to say as quickly as possibly.

NEW: Note taking involves recording more the impressions and thoughts that come to us through the Holy Ghost about the subject we are discussing and invites us to act on those impressions.

OLD: The teacher answered all the questions.

NEW: Help students prepare to learn for a lifetime. You know the old proverbial phrase "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." Teach your students to find answers to their own gospel questions and they will have a valuable tool.

I guess the whole idea with this curriculum is to have the students take responsibility for their own learning and growth. They learn so much more when they've put into practice the doctrines and principles taught. And they learn even more when they've actually taught it to someone else.

What's happening in my yard
Just getting ready for fall. My chocolate flowers are putting on quite the display by our front porch. They also smell quite divine, like you're devouring chocolate at the See's chocolate store.

These are the days of . . . 
*College campus tours. Kiersten and I toured UVU on Friday. She's thrown this school into her mix. She can basically go where she'd like with her ACT score and awesome grades.

*Poldark. I read the first book and am loving the second season of the miniseries that is on at the moment.

7-11

*Our treat for FHE was a trip to the 7-11 to cache in on their free Slurpee for July 11. Oops. Got there a little late and had to actually fork over some cash for our Slurpees.

*I'm off to girls camp tomorrow. This will be my third year and to celebrate I indulged a little and bought me a blow up mattress to sleep on. Last year my envious eyes lusted over Aimee's mattress as my cold, sore body wished I had something similar. I set it up and the kids broke it in for me. Ash thinks she's going to give up her bed for this thing when I get home.

*Josh and Megan and kids have arrived for our Leary Family Reunion and are staying with us for the two weeks they are here. Nate was good enough to give up his room and his space.

*We are six weeks into summer with six weeks left. I feel like I'm going to need a vacation from summer. This one has been a busy one with EFY, tennis camp, TREK, 2 family reunions, girls camp, scout camp, swim lessons.

*I've been reading a little book, almost short enough to be called a booklet, titled, Letters to a Young Mormon. So much of this author's ideas has me wanting to dog-ear so many pages.

"Wanting love and wanting to excel is good. The trouble comes from trying to tie them together. Pursue love and purse excellence -- pursue them with abandon. But you will spoil the joy native to each if you spend your life wanting to be loved because you are great.

Love . . . works only as a gift, never as a reward. It can't be earned or bartered or insured. It is a grace and it is freely given or not given at all. . . . Pursue love by striving to give it rather than posses it."

Good night and see you in a few.

Good things
sunsets
unseasonably cool July days
super glue

Provo City Temple Open House

Temples are the greatest university of learning known to man, giving us knowledge and wisdom about the creation of the world. Washings and anointing tell us who we are. Endowment instructions give guidance as to how we should conduct our lives here in mortality.

--Robert D. Hales, BYU Devotional Address, November 2005

This past week I took advantage of the couple of days the kids had off from school and took them to tour the new Provo City Temple Open House. I love these opportunities they've had to visit so many in our little Mormon-saturated part of the world.

Draper

Oquirrh Mountain

Payson

And now Provo City.

As I was attempting to find parking, I kept looking for the temple. It's not so visible as some temples since it occupies part of downtown Provo and isn't really on a hill. But soon the Angel Moroni was spotted and I knew we were in the right vicinity. It reminded me of the trip to Seoul, Korea with Tyler when we were also trying to find the temple there and it was the angel that led us to it.

Keep your eyes on the temple and you will always be on the right path.

Kiersten invited her friend Trenton to come along. He is not a member and has been somewhat interested in things. In December she took him to Temple Square to see the lights since he'd never been. They toured and he asked questions and that's when she suggested he come with us to see the inside of one. A seed has been planted; only time will tell what comes of it.

As we watched the short introductory video before the tour, the part that got me and that gets me every time is when Elder Holland says that heaven just wouldn't be heaven without his wife and children. Amen to that. The single life just does not appeal to me.

I'm going to share a little doctrinal insight that President Rose gave at a seminary morningside a couple of weeks ago about the temple.

Doctrine and Covenants 84:19-20

19 And this greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God.

20 Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.

Reworded:

19 And this MELCHEZEDEK PRIESTHOOD administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the TEMPLE ORDINANCES, even the key of the knowledge of God.

20 Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the CAPABILITY OR CAPACITY of godliness is manifest.

Temple covenants and ordinances give man the capability to become like God.

If we go to the temple to learn who God is and to become like him, wouldn't the same kind of learning take place in the hereafter?

Aren't there probably temple ceremonies in the after life but without the physical signs and tokens being made (because obviously they don't have a physical body)?

Isn't that why temple work is so important, enabling each person without a physical body the opportunity to progress toward Godhood if they choose? 

Just some thoughts I've been stewing about for several days.

I sustain a prophet of God

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

--Isaiah 55:8-9

This week has been an particularly trying week, yesterday especially as I visually watched my Facebook feed blow up with the recent news and decision from the LDS Church regarding same-sex marriages and children. I've been tossed to and fro upon the winds of the internet.

The headline of the first post I saw read: "LDS Church says children of same-sex couples cannot be members" and I kind of went numb and panicked. That didn't seem right. That didn't seem like the church I belong to.

I went to the LDS newsroom and found nothing. I felt better, thinking someone has certainly got their story wrong.

But posts continue to filter in and when KSL posted something similar, I knew it was for real. Again, it didn't seem like the right thing to do. It seemed harsh and I was not at peace.

The Jesus Christ I know and reverence is kind and one of the greatest defenders of children, never wanting them to be hurt in any way.

"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6)

". . . he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them" (3 Nephi 21:17).

I had a hard time coming to terms with my knowledge of Jesus Christ's character and this new policy that, at first glance, did not seem to favor children very kindly. Either Christ isn't who he says he is or this new policy was not entirely what I thought it was at cursory glance.

As I've read comments and opinion pieces and have prayed and digested everything, I've had a calm come over my heart. If I believe there is a prophet on the earth today, and I positively do, then as I raise my hand to sustain him, I also raise my hand to support him when he acts as the Lord's mouthpiece.

My finite mind may not understand everything and I'm okay with that. Because I know one day all things will be revealed and all questions will be answered in their due time. I do believe the decision today has the best interests of everybody. I am a witness to the divide that occurs when two adults have differing religious beliefs within a marriage and a family. I would hate to see a child baptized into this church, not having the full support of at least one parent, and watch them try to navigate on their own between what is taught at church and what is taught at home. With this policy the church is trying to ensure that children are not merely pawns in a religious game of life.

If you truly understand covenants, then you understand they are not something to be taken lightly. The church simply does not want a child entering into a covenant that they know will be terribly hard to keep, given the circumstances in their home. Nor do they want to pit the child against their parents.

I also believe the church's policy is strict because we are a worldwide church that encompasses so many different, complex situations. This way they can make allowances where needed. Any parent can vouch for that. You set strict rules in your home that can be tweaked for different children and different circumstances. BUT it's much more difficult to go the opposite direction, setting weak rules and trying to enforce them more strictly.

For me, when a prophet speaks, the debate is over. HOWEVER, I always fall to my knees and ask for guidance and peace and comfort when new changes happen within the church, local or worldwide. Yesterday I did just that.

This past month I gave my young women a challenge to ponderize on 4 scriptures for 4 weeks. As I look at the scriptures I've been working on, it seems the Lord was preparing me for this week.

2 Nephi 4:16 -- Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

Jeremiah 33:3 -- Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

Isaiah 55:8-9 -- For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Romans 8:28 -- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Peace has been restored as my heart and mind both feel comfortable in accepting this new change in policy. This is simply a change in policy not doctrine which means it could last indefinitely or it may be short lived. It certainly isn't something to base my membership in the church on. Unfortunately change is inevitable as world standards and God's standards grow exponentially in different directions. What was not even an issue 30 years ago is being shouted from the rooftops today. Change is hard in any circumstance.

As always I choose to believe.

Trees and faith

Eight years ago we had a big tree come down in a windstorm

and several months ago we lost another.

The first was due to a neighbor overwatering on the fence line causing shallow roots. Our other tree had a bore which weakened the tree. So here's my little life lesson from trees . . . sink your roots deep so that when the winds of change, the hurricanes of life come howling in, you will be anchored. And don't let small bugs bore their way into your life, infesting your soul. They will weaken you. Root your life in Jesus Christ with prayer and scripture study and keep a vigilant guard on the bores of the adversary which will try to weaken your resolve to stand tall and strong.

And sometimes you're going to need some support from others when your roots aren't quite deep enough. Accept their help and know that storms don't last forever. The time to jump ship or have a faith crisis is not in the middle of a tempest. Hold on; better days are ahead. Faith will always trump doubt.

Honoring the Sabbath

There has been a push to take back the Sabbath, to remember who's day it really is. It used to be called the Holy Sabbath Day, then it became the Sabbath, then Sunday, and now it is known only as the weekend.

Our Young Men and Young Women lesson today was how we might keep the Sabbath more holy. Brother Douglas gave the lesson and he didn't make a list of do's and don'ts because that simply is too much like the Israelites living the Mosaic Law. Seriously, who really cares how many steps you take on the Sabbath is you're out and about doing good?

We did discuss relationships, especially our relationship with God.

When we enter into a relationship with another person, there is usually a great deal of time and energy that is put forth to make that relationship successful. Sometimes we get jilted, stood up, and it becomes more of a one-sided relationship. Nobody likes being in a relationship where you give and get nothing in return.

In a marriage relationship, both spouses have to put forth 100% to make it work. You make sure date nights happen frequently. You let your spouse know you love them and care about them continually. You put thought into making your relationship thrive.

Well . . . 

How is your relationship with God?

Are you "dating" him weekly?

Would you ever consider standing up a date? (I did that once, but that's another story.)

If you consider the Sabbath as your weekly date with God, would you ever consider standing him up?

Keeping the Sabbath Day holy and consecrated is way more than a set of rules and what can be, should be, shouldn't be done on that day. It is about how you really feel about our Heavenly Father. When you love him and honor him, you sincerely want to put forth your best effort to get to know him better and strengthen your relationship with him.

Simply think of the Sabbath as your weekly, standing date night with God. Just as you probably wouldn't stand up a date, don't ever consider doing the same with our Maker.

Good things
clean, cool sheets
cold, drinking water
beautiful sunrise walks

Blogged down

Ugh! Brain cramp. Writer's block. Whatever it is, I have it.

I've been trying to gather my thoughts together about girls camp which was so long ago, but I can't seem to make my thoughts work out as words on paper. One day that post will come.

Kids will be back to school on Tuesday and I'm hoping to get those juices flowing again with a schedule and routine to my day.

So for today here are a few thoughts I've jotted in a notebook I take with me to church, to firesides, to conferences.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*When God wants to give you a gift, he gives you a problem. The bigger the problem, the bigger the gift.

*We are given this life because we are strong enough to live it.

*There are no spiritual plateaus.

*The Sabbath is not restrictive but protective.

*Seeing is not a shortcut to faith.

*Feelings change thoughts into BELIEFS. Doing changes beliefs into KNOWLEDGE.

*Don't become jaded with the spiritual things in life.

*Satan may know my weaknesses but he does not know my strengths.

*God knows what is best for you. But he wants you to choose what is best for you.

*The temple is a place of intersection between earth and heaven.

*Ordinances are performed when we want to make the covenant valid.

*A testimony is what we know. Conversion is living what we know.

*Promptings come at inconvenient times.

*The commandments reveal to us who God is. They are not rules to keep.

*The next life is not a church. It's not a kingdom. It's a family.

* You have to protect your faith from those who want to change it.

*When we are baptized we have now left neutral ground and have enlisted to serve God.

Good things
faith
Sunday naps
emails from missionary parents

Three teenagers

Nate had a birthday several weeks ago which brought our teenagers to a total of three.

I know parents who dread the teenage years, but I'm absolutely loving it. I believe it's all a matter of attitude. If you head into those years knowing that they can be some of the best, I think they can. Every kid needs someone who is crazy about them.

And you know, if you want to really connect with those kids, you have to think like a teen. 

*I do fist bumps and lip sync concerts.
*I do crazy dance moves and try to keep up with the music they like.
*I ask lots of questions about what they're up to. I'm sure it might drive them crazy, but I really think they enjoy the fact that mom is interested in them.
*I try to work along side them and be interested in their friends when they are at our house (those friends must like our house because it seems there is a never-ending stream coming and going).
*I try to treat them like adults and will ask for their advice.
*And for heavens sake, I feed them. Teenagers, especially teenage boys, love food. We do one-on-one lunch dates. Even the Savior fed the masses physically before feeding them spiritually.

It's a time of growing and developing and figuring things out and I try to be their biggest cheerleader in all their endeavors and do my best to be at the crossroads. Life seems to be lived on the road a lot, but carpooling gives me a chance to talk with them uninterrupted and more importantly to just listen.

It's a time for them to start making their own choices about who they are and who they want to be. It's absolutely crucial and essential that they be given freedom to do so. They've been taught a great deal up to this point and now is the time to put into practice those teachings under the tutelage of wise, encouraging, guiding parents before heading out on their own. They're going to be unwise in how they use their time, their money, my time, my money. They are going to make some stupid decisions which will make me want to cringe, but if they are not given the chance to do so now at this young age, the consequences of their choices later in life might be more detrimental.

Tyler and I were at the nursery the other day picking up a few more trees (I think we seriously have an addiction, but I do think we are at the tail end of buying and planting trees.). Last fall we planted four Crimson Spire Oak trees. In the spring one of them didn't quite leaf out like the other three and hasn't looked as good. While we were at the nursery, we found another Crimson Spire Oak and Tyler was very tempted to buy it and replace it, although our tree at home is still alive.

I talked him out of it with "Just because some of our children don't act or look like the others, are you just going to give them the boot and trade them in?"

I've always wanted my kids to be musical and at least learn to play the piano. Erik and I struggled in this arena for a long time and I finally decided he is his own person and I valued my relationship with him more than the piano. There is no molding him into who I want him to be. He is who he decides he wants to be . . . and sadly for me that is non-musical. 

My kids have come to our family with all their different personalities, quirks, strengths, weaknesses which means our parenting approach doesn't necessarily work the same with each child. And this makes it very difficult to have a broad parenting style for the entire group. An umbrella of rules simply does not work for all five. Each one is unique, and at differing ages will require varying rules and guidelines.

And rules . . . well Tyler and I have concluded that less is better. "Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves" seems to work the best.