I've joined THAT bandwagon

I've gone digital and gotten me my first cell phone. Actually when I met with the bishop and accepted the call to be Young Women's president, I told him, "I guess it's time I get that cell phone." He simply replied that it was up to me but that is how the girls communicated a lot.

And he was right.

It's actually been quite fun to figure it out. I've added a few apps. At first I was only wanting a basic phone, none of this smartness stuff. But when I finally narrowed down the plan and who I was going to go with, the phone I ended up with was a basic smart phone. It's simply a go phone where I pay for the minutes I use. Not having a data plan has been wonderful. I don't feel the constant need to update and check in because I don't want to pay the data fees.

This last Sunday I gave a lesson to the girls on digital media. I started off with these quotes by President Kimball and President Eyring:

In 1974 President Kimball said, “I believe that the Lord is anxious to put into our hands inventions of which we laymen have hardly had a glimpse” (When the World Will Be Converted, Ensign, Oct. 1974).

The spiritual strength sufficient for our youth to stand firm just a few years ago will soon not be enough. Many of them are remarkable in their spiritual maturity and in their faith. But even the best of them are sorely tested. And the testing will become more severe. . . . The flow has become a flood and soon will be a torrent. It will become a torrent of sounds and sights and sensations that invite temptation and offend the Spirit of God. It is getting harder and may soon be frighteningly difficult. --Henry B. Eyring, August 2001, CES Symposium

Then we listed all the latest and coolest inventions of the last 10 years which revealed that a torrent of sights and sounds and sensations have truly washed over this generation like never before in the history of world. The world is brighter, louder, and busier.

1993 - Email
1997 - Netflix, growth started in 2002
1999 - Blogger, became mainstream in 2004
2000s - Hi-Def TV, Home theater systems
2001, January - Wikipedia
2001, October - 1^st iPod
2003, October - 1^st Social Networking site (MySpace)
2004, February - Facebook
2004, May - Sony PSP
2005, February - YouTube
2006, July - Twitter
2006, November - Nintendo Wii
2007, June - iPhone
2010, March - Pinterest

2010, April - iPad 
October 2010 - Instagram

Internet: It only communicated 1% of the information flowing through two-way telecommunications networks in the year 1993, already 51% by 2000, and more than 97% of the telecommunicated information by 2007

Texting: November 1995; in December 2009, 286 million US subscribers sent 152.7 billion text messages per month, for an average of 534 messages per subscriber per month

I showed them a video clip from Elder Ballard's CES Devotional in May where he addresses the concerns of digital media. He posed a question to the audience, "Do you have any personal quiet time?" He even brought up the use of scriptures on digital devices which is something I've been struggling with. But he mentioned that the church keeps up with the changing technology and that it's okay to use your scriptures in such a manner but to put your phone on airplane mode so that you won't be tempted to look at the notification that pops up. So I told the girls that if an apostle says it's okay than it's okay but that we should try to follow the guidelines. However, I personally like my old paper scriptures I can mark.

We discussed the need to BE wherever they are. If they are hanging with friends, give them your attention. If you are on a date, give your date your attention. If you're sitting in a church Sunday class, give your teacher your attention. Don't let your cell phone be a distraction.

I challenged them to a digital fast for the next four weeks. This means no digital media (except for school work) for a 24-hour period, one day each week. If they do it, we're going to break our "fast" by having a night out at the movies.

Oh my, did they balk at that. They for sure think they can't do it, but I know they can. I tried it on Monday and found I sure got a lot more accomplished without the distractions of the computer. I loved the quiet and know that the Lord wants to share great things with us, but he needs a quite channel to work with.

There is such a need to make time to be still, to pause, to reflect, to meditate, to ponder, to pray, to really listen. And you know what? It's hard. It's hard to just BE, to just sit and do nothing. The Lord has blessed us with so many great technologies to help do his work on the earth; however "we must be careful not to fall victim to their destructive side. We must not only avoid the base and degrading content some sources contain, but we must also recognize when electronic distractions keep us from quieter, more significant uses of our time. We must guard against becoming so attached to digital devices that we become detached from God." (Scott D. Whiting, March 2010 Ensign)

A pilfered blog post about media

I've gotten out of my groove lately. I've got a whole list of things to write about and document but the ambition just isn't there right now. I've been enjoying a lot of time outside getting my yard ready for winter and enjoying a lot of time inside turning my blog into a book (hopefully for Christmas). And those two things are very time consuming. So today you get a post from a blogger I follow who happens to also be the Young Mother of the Year for Utah, Michelle Lehnardt.

I like what she said about the consumption of media contributing to raising our children more than perhaps any other factor. So because of that we have to be vigilant, very vigilant, where media is involved. The key is teaching children VALUES, not RULES.

I deleted her family pictures since that seemed irrelevant here. But if you'd like to read the original article with pictures intact, just click the title or here.

* * * * *

Raising Real Men: Mixed-Up Media

By Michelle Lehnardt

We are what we eat, but even more so, we are what we read, watch, listen to and play. And the question behind media consumption is, "Who do we want to be?"

I want my children to be smart, kind, respectful, considerate, well-spoken. What I don't want: any objectification of women, coarse language, violence, mocking others or any form of cruelty. I worry about pornography every single day and protect my family.

At my children's ages, I can't monitor them every minute of the day. Yes, I have a good internet filter and check the history regularly, but more importantly we've instilled in them values to direct their actions. My boys understand WHY we don't read/watch or listen to certain books, movies, TV shows and music. Even when Ben was in high school, he called me before watching a movie with his friends. Not to get permission, but simply to get advice on the content. He didn't want to put anything in his mind that would impair who he wants to be.
In our modern world, our consumption of media contributes to raising children more than perhaps any other factor.

Media comes at us from every direction, nearly every moment of the day: books, magazines, Facebook, YouTube, TV, video games, cell phones etc. To neglect it's influence (good and bad) is pure foolishness.
We're a pretty moderate household. Many of you would find us too strict and many others would find us too lenient. Ben was 13 before he ever saw a PG-13 movie. Gabe was 6. And at 11 he's seen every X-Men movie and a whole slew of James Bond films. We listen to a lot of classical music but also to Imagine Dragons, Train, Maroon 5 etc. A wide screen TV lies behind my family room cabinet, but it's not hooked up to cable or satellite.  Everyone over 13 at my house maintains a Facebook account. We're not Luddites, but we'd lose at any pop culture quiz games.

Teaching media awareness starts young and changes with every new bit of technology, but when children are driven by values, rather than rules, our decisions are pretty simple. Every family cultivates a slightly different set of values and parents have varying abilities to monitor media and devices. With a big, brave, deep breath, I'll outline our approach to various forms of media. This is not a to-do list, simply ideas for consideration. As I've said before, I'm not skilled at monitoring devices so we don't have very many. Also, there are a whole lot of things I wish we could do better (really, Gabe did not need to see James Bond seducing women or getting kicked and beaten). And I'm going to stop apologizing right now. At least I'll try.

BOOKS-- I believe books impact our thoughts more powerfully than movies. Readers spend more time in a book (usually) and know the characters intimately. In fact, a new study reveals those who read the classics exhibit more empathy than readers of pop fiction. I'd scarcely call everything written this century pop fiction-- children's and YA literature have attracted brilliant authors-- but the study proves one book is not like another. Too many people are afraid of books dubbed as "classics" with the assumption they are boring. They are classics because they are awesome! I'll never forget the first time Stefan read The Count of Monte Cristo. Over and over he exclaimed, "How come nobody told me this was such a good book!?"

Look for reviews on commonsensemedia.org, but you might want to get a feel for their reviews before trusting them implicitly. I promise a list of great boys' books coming soon.

TV/MOVIES/VIDEO GAMES--  I said more than enough about this last year and about handheld games, the iTouch and smartphones so I won't repeat it again.

INTERNET-- Basics: keep computers and TVs in public rooms and password protect computers. Even if everyone knows the password it provides a conscious moment to say, "why am I turning on the computer?" Some of the boys' favorite positive websites are listed here: nerd power

A few new finds:
Minute Physics  
Veratisium
VSauce
CGPGrey
Studio C
FamilySearch
and of course, KhanAcademy and TED talks.

AVOIDING PORNOGRAPHY-- Happiness in life is more about the DOs than the DON'Ts. Finding a hobby, playing sports, studying, hiking, time with friends and family-- all these insulate our children from pornography more than any filter. Addiction to pornography stems from an emptiness, a hole in the heart a person tries to fill with an artificial thrill. Alcohol and drug abuse and overeating stem from the same emptiness. Sadly, many in our country still believe pornography is a harmless pastime and fighting against it is a job for the religious right. But pornography hurts EVERYONE. Our entire society pays a price for increased sexual assaults, broken marriages, destructive attitudes towards women, job loss and depression. In the UK, as a response to violent porn-related crimes, Prime Minister David Cameron is waging war on internet filth. By the end of this year, everyone in the UK will have to 'opt-in' to receive any kind of explicit material, hard-core everything will be banned and those typing in certain search terms will be black-listed. And hurray for Google who are working to eliminate child porn from the Internet.

How can we best protect our kids? Love them. Fill that hole in their heart. And if/when they do mess up, love them. Tell them they are still good people, teach them to resist temptation. Teach them why pornography is wrong how it will hurt them: impairing relationships, putting grades at risk, taking time from positive activities, increasing feelings of worthlessness and shame.

Every one of our children will be exposed to pornography in some degree. As Ben so wisely informed me when he was in high school, "It's not a matter of seeking it out; it's a matter of turning away." My older boys have all dropped off certain sports teams because of the overabundance of pornography and crude talk in the locker room and on the field. To them, staying on the team wasn't worth WHO they want to be.

And I'm raising men. Real men.