Heaviness and desires of a heart

The Lord is ever mindful of our thoughts and desires. Several Utah temples have opened up for phase 2 which means Nate could go through . . . if we could get an appointment. I stressed about this the moment I heard the news. I stressed about the unknown of home-MTC and knowing what his schedule would be like and could we fit in an endowment session and could we do it after Erik came home so he could be Nate's escort. See . . . too many thoughts on my brain. 

I just knew I wanted to go through the temple with him for his first time. The thought of him going by himself just made me incredibly sad.

And the Lord knew this.

Last week my heart was heavy after I got word that the temple was full and we could not be getting in on an endowment session before Nate left. Friday I got an email from his mission president in Denver and one item addressed my very concern. When temples opened up in the Colorado area, they were to send their missionaries as soon as possible and parents would be allowed to come with them at their own expense.

I read this, sitting at my desk, and shed a few tears, grateful that the Lord knew the heaviness of my heart and knew the desires of my heart.

Don't every underestimate the power and love of an all-knowing Father in Heaven who loves all of his children to the core.

UPDATE: A week after writing this I received an email from the Bountiful Temple from an actual person saying they were booked until November BUT that I should try the Vernal Temple. I was trying to pack for a half marathon race but decided to quickly call knowing I would just get their voice recording with an email to contact them. But Nooooo . . . I actually got a REAL.LIVE.PERSON!! AND . . . she said they had a few openings. I was ecstatic.

So Nate is going September 16. Erik will be home. Kiersten is going to drive out.

It's going to be a great day.

He also got his missionary tags in the mail and is getting ready for home-MTC this week.

AND . . . ERIK COMES HOME ON TUESDAY!! Kiersten will be here with our baby Oliver. We are all so stoked. It's gonna be a fabulous week.

Life at the moment

August has sent me into a tailspin as I attempt to figure out this upcoming school year with all of its new rules and procedures. So blogging or reading in any kind of depth has not been at the forefront of my brain.

I was asked to be on a team of two to help implement technology in our building. There was training at the district for that and then back to Willow Elementary to share our "expertise." I do feel like blogging and building a website or two has helped me be more knowledgeable when it comes to some of the tech tools out there. And I'm not afraid to try new things, but I feel like I'm in my first year again working at curating resources that can be used in an online world.

I feel for these seasoned teachers who have been there a long time and are struggling to figure out where to start. They too are starting over just as a first year teacher would.

Our district has been preparing for this, attempting to get our district to be more tech saavy. The plan was to have chromebooks for every student in every school  within 5 - 6 - 7 years. This pandemic merely escalated that plan. Technology will never replace good teaching. The goal is to thread technology into our already good teaching practices and be intentional about what we use and how we use it.

However, I've felt that students get so much tech when they are at home that sometimes it's good to come to school and have a little break. I guess that's where I get to really decide what is going to work best in my classroom to satisfy both sides.

There is a little mantra in the world of plants that goes like this: The first year they sleep. The second year they creep. And the third year they leap. I feel like this is a year to leap despite all its challenges. I've spent the summer getting ready for it, getting organized, and learning for myself how I really want to tackle phonics and reading systematically. I am ready to tackle this year, complete with all its craziness.

AND . . . to add to a crazy beginning, Erik is coming home in 9 days. WOW! When did that happen. Nate is ready to tackle Denver in a few short weeks, and Kiersten is bringing that baby home to us. I informed my principal that I would be taking a day off to celebrate having all my family home for a short period.

It's going to be wonderful.

Life is wonderful.

Uncharted waters

Viruses Are Contagious.

So is panic, fear, hysteria, calm, love, service, kindness, enthusiasm, joy.

Choose Wisely!

This mayhem all started for me last Saturday. My mom and dad flew in from the Cook Islands, their latest mission. Me and Ash, along with Natalie and Kurtis, were at the airport to welcome them home. It was a small gathering because they flew out again early Monday morning to Hawaii to catch a flight to the Marshall Islands to visit their first mission that they had to come home early from. Their "real" homecoming would be several weeks later.

As we waited for them at the baggage claim, two missionaries came through both wearing black masks over their faces. The only people there to greet them were mom and dad who quickly whisked them away. Kurtis overheard one say that he couldn't believe he was home after only 14 days. It then hit me that they were coming home from a mission that required a quarantine. My heart shattered for them. I know they will go back out. But how hard to come home to wait.

Monday was fairly uneventful, other than I had a birthday. I celebrated by getting up at 3:45 to take my parents to the airport. Then my awesome kids surprised me at school and kidnapped me for lunch. Nate arranged the whole thing with my teacher-friend across the hall. And it concluded with Ash's orchestra concert.

Tuesday I got a text from my sister that the Marshall Islands were restricting foreign passengers. My parents would be flying back the next day. And again, my heart shattered. Their first mission was cut short and they were going back to have a final closure. I know one day they'll get back.

Wednesday night we all settled in to watch a Jazz game. And this is when the world, our world, decided to shift into high gear. The players were getting ready for tip off when an emergency meeting of the refs forced all the players and staff to the locker room and the fans were ushered out of the arena. There would be no game that night or quite possibly for the rest of the season. Rudy Gobert, our center, had not been feeling well and tested positive for COVID-19. The NBA immediately suspended the season. March Madness followed suit and didn't just suspend, but cancelled the entire tournament. And from there it's been a domino effect.

Thursday afternoon Nate's tennis tournament in St. George was cancelled because the governor asked that we not hold gatherings of more than 100 people. This did not effect schools. As I was reading this to my class and thinking out loud, I said, "I wonder if they'll cancel church?" Many of my students cheered at that prospect except for one who was in tears because he loved church. I immediately told them I had not cancelled church and they were not to go home and tell their parents that Mrs. Leary had cancelled church. After I got home, the news broke that church had been cancelled for the next two weeks. Ash was ecstatic because she was supposed to give a talk today :) I also cancelled my sub for Friday. Hannah and I were supposed to go support our boys at that tennis tournament. Instead I went to work.

The library system announced they would be shutting down Friday. Priorities. When most of the world was stocking up on toilet paper and food, we were stocking up on books.

Friday the state board of education issued a soft close for all schools for the next two weeks. We have until Wednesday to figure out how to teach remotely. My principal sent an email yesterday with the expectation that we would be online. I'm still not sure how that is going to happen with eight year olds.

Saturday I was able to make it to one of my student's baptism. I initially told him I wouldn't be there because of that tennis tournament. Turns out the Lord had other plans for me that day.

And today we held our first home church. Nate conducted and did a fabulous job. We chose to listen to President Nelson's closing remarks again and then begin a study of the First Vision.

We are headed into uncharted waters. I am immensely grateful for a prophet, seer, and revelator who has prepared us for these times . . . if we only heed and follow what they say. This upcoming conference will definitely be "memorable and unforgettable."

Updates

Good grief! What happened to January? It just sorta mushed into February.

Alex
He's been thick in the middle of basketball practices and games.

How many basketballs can you spot? Did you get 'em all? Are you sure? This year we tried out the Stansbury basketball league instead of Jr. Jazz in Grantsville.

He's getting taller, but I don't think he'll catch his friend Chris anytime soon.

At the beginning of January he took his Hoop Shoot free throw skills to the next level in Heber. Watching those young kids warm up set my nerves on fire for him. They were good and they weren't missing.

But . . . 

Hold on . . . 

They didn't have nerves of steel. And Alex did.

He ended up taking 2nd class place, making 21 out of 25 free throws. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!! Unfortunately, the first place winner made 22 and he got to go on to Provo. Alex still came home with a trophy (that we have yet to see since they forgot them) and a free lunch out of the deal.

Clutch. That's what we call him now.

Ashlyn
Ahhh Ash. Just livin' the dream of hangin' with friends just about every night and trying to pass biology tests and dancin' her feet away in ballroom class and splitting knees open in gym class

and studyin' for her learner's permit.

Nate
Wait! I have a son Nathan? Are you sure? I know someone sleeps in his bed and the truck is gone most days, but . . . Hmmmm?

Nate is home long enough to shower and sleep. He has mostly college classes during the day, comes home to McDonalds, basketball or tennis after that.

The kid is rarely home. He did get asked to Winter Ball by cute Hannah.

Sunday mornings are mission prep and then straight to our ward to play prelude or postlude on the organ. Monday nights he teaches a few piano lessons.

Erik
Elder Leary is just doin' his thang, teachin' and preachin' and hangin' with celebrities like Alex Boye.


He's had some great experiences, great companions, played a little tennis and will be home in September.

We even made sure he got in on the yearly height check-in. I'm pretty sure he hasn't grown much this year.

Kiersten
Soon she'll be able to add UVU alumni to her list of accomplishments. Wahoo!! Once a week she travels out here to teach piano lessons.

She still works at Curves in Lehi, tries to keep up Grandma Ellis who had part of the driveway already shoveled, 

incubates baby Oliver for a few more months,

and finds time to be in an institute choir . . . once in awhile . . . like when they have a devotional broadcast to the world.

She and Jason are doing well.

Tyler and I have started a Master Gardener's class that is 12 weeks long and something that has been on our bucket list for a number of years.

Week one was about plants.

This past week was about soils. On our daily walk around the block I was so excited to see the layers of soil. What a nerdy thing to get excited about (and don't ask about the straw in that hole. We have no idea why and have never seen anything like it.)

Yes, we walk just about every day. January has been such a dichotomous month in regards to the weather. You'd expect cold and snow, but it's been quite the opposite. My daily routine is a walk around one block at 6:30 in the morning. I call it my daily walk with God and takes me 11 minutes. After work and school, Tyler and I usually take another walk around a different block to catch up on the day. And Saturday mornings are a 5 mile run at 6:30 in the morning and then off to a basketball game. Boy do I catch some beautiful sunsets and moon settings. Watching the world wake up and drift off is quite spectatular.

My friend Claudia took this on our walk.

The start of February was another beautifully warm day. So much so that we took advantage and biked and bladed the Jordan River Parkway.

Monday we woke up to this. Our second major storm of the year.

Luckily it was just delayed start for school (so no make up) AND I got to try my snowblower again on our driveway and the neighbors.

Our dishwasher also bit the dust taking me back to my childhood when we had five dishwashers. Yeah, that's right 5. Five kids who washed and dried by hand. So this week I've gone from 1 dishwasher to at least 2 or 3. How lucky am I :)

Our quasi snow day also meant more people on Erik's weekly call home.


And like Porky Pig always said at the end of every Looney Tunes show "That's all folks!"

Letter to a first year teacher

At orientation last year, a teacher who had just finished his first year teaching advised us newbies to enjoy the ride because you'll never have that first year back again.

Well, here I am. . . . At the end of my first year teaching. . . . And I'm switching classrooms and moving into the 3rd grade hall. I'm still a 2nd grade teacher having to vacate to make room for growth that's headed our way next year.

So I employed my little tribe while I still had slave labor and put them to work taking apart my classroom. They took stuff off my walls and cleaned and sorted. I'm afraid this classroom will be much cleaner than the one I'm inheriting.

Over several weeks I hauled home my entire library which has inundated my office. I've purged old books and books in bad shape and now I've begun the task of cataloging and labeling every book. I was not happy with the way my library was used this past year. We had books, but they got piled up and all mixed together. And I really had no idea what books I had. I knew if I was going to help young students be better readers, they needed access to books and I needed to know how to help them find a book that was the right fit for them. The completed project will be a post for another day.

One of my last assignments for school was to write a letter to an upcoming first year teacher. So here ya go . . . 

Dear First Year Teacher,

You’re gonna make it!! You’ll survive. You will probably even thrive on some days or weeks. It has been such a wild ride, but so worth it. You are amazing!

*Greet you students at the door every day and welcome them to school. This is such a good way to start off the day with them knowing how much you love having them in your class. I would even stand at the door and send them off with a high five or a goodbye at the end of the day. Getting to know your students outside of the classroom is such a vital ingredient to success. Those relationships really do make a huge difference.

*A good classroom management plan in central to success in the classroom. And then be CONSISTENT in following through. Consistency is key to making it work effectively. I thought I was going to be very consistent. It just seemed like my nature. Not so. I found I wasn’t as consistent and it was a struggle sometimes to reign in the class or individual students. One thing I discovered part way through the year is implementing class points in addition to individual rewards (fake pennies for a class store in my case). When the class wouldn’t settle down, all I had to do was stand at the front of the class and wait. At some point I started counting out loud and told them when I reached 60, I would take a point away. I found that they began to self-regulate themselves. I would stand silent and the students would start quieting each other. I found I really liked this approach. 

*Don’t let the one or two hard students be your focus. Remember you have a class of students who work hard and are good students. Don’t let the behaviorally-challenged ones control your time and attention.

*Don’t be afraid to change how things are going midstream. If you find one aspect just isn’t working like you would like it too, change it up. Try something different. During third term, my partner read was something I wanted to change and make more consistent so I knew I had to find some extra time to make it happen every day. I rethought my end of day routine and had the students actually pack up when they came in from afternoon recess. This gave us a whole 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to do partner reading/journal writing/independent reading. I have loved it and am glad I didn’t wait until the following year to implement this new routine.

*Plan, plan, plan. Having at least a week planned in advance makes the week go by so much more smoothly. It is a lot of work, but if you keep copious notes, next year will be somewhat easier because you’ll have something to refer to. And plan to death the first week of school. Write down every little detail about the day.

*Rely on veteran teachers and especially your grade level team. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. There’s a lot besides teaching you need to know . . . how to run the copy machine, what your duties are, how to order supplies, etc.

*Each day is a new start. There will be days that leave you drained and exhausted. There will be days where you give up trying to cope with the behaviors. Just know that every day is a new start. What went horribly wrong the day before is now a clean slate to try again. Make a point to smile and be happy, especially when those long winter days set in and the tribe is restless and ready for mutiny.

*Don’t forget those things that you loved to do before embarking on this journey of teaching. It can be overwhelming at times. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. For me, I allowed myself to read for pleasure, even if for only a few minutes every day. This was something I looked forward to and rewarded myself at the end of the day for making it through yet another day.

*Go home at a reasonable hour. There is life outside of school.

*Find a way to be organized, whatever that may mean to you. I took some time before school started to set up folders on my computer so I had a way to file digital items as I came across them. This has been a huge lifesaver. I still have some cleanup to do, but at least I’m not reinventing the wheel and starting all over next year.

*Never stop learning and growing yourself. You have years ahead of you to become the teacher you envisioned on your first day. Don’t be hard on yourself when you fall short of what you thought you might be.

I won’t lie. The first year of teaching is hard. It’s a lot of long, hard hours. It is also full of a lot of rewards when you see a student “get it” or when you get those cute notes saying you’re the best teacher. Smile every day. Have a good attitude. That first year is something you will never ever have again.

My reading life

"I was born a reader, it seems, surrounded by books, with free choice and plenty of time to read under my covers with a flashlight." (Passionate Readers)

That one statement pretty much sums up my reading life. A question surfaced the other day from a colleague: Did I remember learning how to read?

That made me really dig deep into the filing cabinet of my memories.

No. I don't recall how I learned to read. But I do remember my library card number . . . 176. I didn't have tons of books at my house growing up, but I did have access to the library and I had a reading mom. One of my favorite places to read was in the closet of my brothers' room surrounded by books like Go, Dog, Go (one of my favorites). My dad had built a shelf in there that recessed into the closet. What kid doesn't like holing up in a small, tight space to read. Under the covers and beneath the Christmas tree were some other favorite spots.

"People read for a multiplicity of reasons. . . . I'm grateful for my one life, but I'd prefer to live a thousand--and my favorite books allow me to experience more on the page than I ever could in my actual life." (I'd Rather Be Reading)

The books that really instilled a love of reading were the Little House on the Prairie books. Back in the day of the Sears Christmas catalog, I would browse through that toy book, dreaming and hoping that I would some day get the entire series for myself. 

I still have that set 34 years later.

My summers were spent walking the two blocks to the library and sprinting back home to hermit in my room reading. I recall one summer I was really intrigued with space and wanted to be an astronaut. Maybe it was the summer of Christa Mcauliff, the first teacher to go to space. My timeline is vague, but I wanted to know all I could. I remember thinking that if I really studied one thing in depth each summer, I would have learned a lot after several years. Well, I began with space. I read a lot of what our little library had on the subject of space. And unfortunately, my quest for extensive knowledge began and ended that summer.

My mom was a reader of novels. My dad read the magazines Time and Reader's Digest (my first foray into the internet was a search for Reader's Digest in 1996 while sitting in a computer lab at Utah State University with Tyler sitting beside me). I remember pulling A Wrinkle in Time off the shelf at the school library and stumbling through it. A junior high class requirement was to read a biography, so I went to the library and found a book on Chuck Yeager, the pilot who broke the speed of sound. I hated that book because I found it so boring. I picked up James Fenimore Cooper's Last of the Mohicans off a shelf in our basement and didn't get very far due to the difficulty of the writing. Did those experiences make me less inclined to read? No. In fact today biographies or memoirs are one of my favorite genres to read. And perhaps Mohicans might be easier to read 25 years later.

My life as a reader has evolved over the years. Babar, Harriet the Spy, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, The Boxcar Children, and Beverley Cleary's endearing Ramona Quimby were a few I indulged in as a child. My desk in Mrs. Jones's third grade class even held the Bible that I would pull out and read. In my tween years it was the drama of Sweet Valley High and the mystery solving of Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden. I later moved onto authors Dorothy Keddington, Lois Duncan, and even admit to ashamedly reading a V.C. Andrews book or two. I loved Jack Weyland and Gerald Lund.

To Kill a Mockingbird was the first book I bought for myself. I can still vividly recall being in a Deseret Book store at a mall, looking through that book, and deciding to buy it.

During my college years, there's quite a gap in my reading experience. I claim to never have read a book for fun in college, but I'm sure I read something at least during the summer months.

In my 20s as a young mom, I read a lot of "self-help" books, namely parenting books and a few biographies. However, one of the most engaging novels that surfaces again and again in my literary conversations was a book suggested to me by a dear friend, Nancy Peixhot, in my Salt Lake ward: Phantom, the story of the Phantom of the Opera told from the viewpoint of the phantom. Such a captivating read. In fact Erik is spelled with a K instead of a C because of the main character of that book. In my 30s I started attending a book club which renewed my interest in other genres. That was a major turning point in my reading life. I have been exposed to books I wouldn't have otherwise picked up. I have loved talking about the books we read and making connections.

And now in my 40s I'm on a quest to teach my young students to be better readers and to instill a love of reading in them. Those are really my two goals as an educator. And I believe with 6 days left of school I just may have accomplished at least goal #2 when they beg me to let them read their books.

Tell me how I'm supposed to say no to that? So we sit and read and talk books and I love it.

So where am I now as a reader?

Well, I need reading glasses :) and I need deadlines. Books I borrow from the library get read more often than books I've bought and stored on my bookshelves at home. 

I continually add to my bookshelves, real and virtual. I most likely have way more books on my actual and virtual bookshelves than I'll ever read and that is quite all right. It reminds me of all that I do not know and have yet to discover and the stories I have yet to experience.

I am discovering a love for picture books. My students love it when I read to them. So I've been on a quest this year to discover picture books that tie in to the lesson I'm giving that day.

I document the books I read and have begun leaving a brief synopsis in Goodreads. I've found that I can remember reading books but I can only remember if I liked it or didn't. I want to recall more than that about the books I read. Plus Goodreads is a great site to get recommendations or to do a little sleuthing about a book I might be interested in reading before I actually commit to it.

I am still a bibliophile who seeks out bookstores on vacation much to the chagrin of a son-in-law. On our last family outing we discovered a bookstore in Boulder, Colorado that was a close second to Powell's in Portland.

I was born a reader and will always be a reader. It is definitely one of my most favorite things to do in my "spare" time.

State tennis

Well, it's another wrap for tennis. Our region has some tough competition with both Bonneville and Park City. Nate took third in region for 2nd singles which gave him a spot at state tennis. Last year his first match was against the kid who took state which ended his state run. This year his first match was INTENSE. It was so reminiscent of Erik's state match last year. Nate split sets which sent the match into a third set. To win, it's the first player to six games, winning by two. At the end of the third set, they were tied six games a piece. This entails a tiebreaker game where the typical scoring is put aside and it then becomes the first player to get 7 points, winning by 2.

The score was 5 to 6 with Nate down a point. His opponent went to slam it on him for the win, but put it into the net instead and cramped a muscle at the same time. It took about ten minutes before he felt he could finish the match. They were now tied 6 to 6. Nate defaulted on his serve, giving his opponent another advantage. Nate held on to win 10 to 8 after a 2 1/2 hour match. My heart has never pounded so much. When I first became a tennis mom trying to figure out how tennis was scored, they were many times I had no idea who was winning. But once I figured out the game, my heart became a little more involved and got a little more of a workout.

I was anticipating a year like last and had made alternative plans for the day. After his win, I ecstatically messaged Tyler and Kiersten and Jason. They were all able to make it to his next match. He won the first set closely, but then muscle fatigue set in and he dropped the next two sets and therefore the match.

Nate played hard and tough and he's only a junior. He's got next year. Plus, Bonneville and Park City who won state in both 1st and 2nd singles are moving up to 5A next year.

And in other news, my transcript has been finalized at Weber. I am officially done!! I guess I can take this off my board now. I thought I was going to have a quiet summer until I learned last week that I am moving classrooms. So now I have a classroom to put together.

18 months later . . .

My return to college classes has come to a cessation. I turned in my last paper and finished attending my last class this past week. Now I'm just waiting for grades to finalize. I feel like I can return to being a mom again. It's been a grueling 18 months but I now have 32 credits post-baccalaureate. There were days and weeks I felt like the enslaved Nephites in the Book or Mormon.They prayed for some relief and instead of deliverance, the Lord blessed them with stronger backs. I too felt so overwhelmed and in bondage to everything required of me. But, the Lord helped me keep moving forward with the important things. I found time I didn't have to complete what needed to be done. Many times my kids stepped up to clean and cook when I wasn't available.

I loved what President Nelson said in our last conference a week ago: "If you are not sure you even believe in God, start there. Understand that in the absence of experiences with God, one can doubt the existence of God. So, put yourself in a position to begin having experiences with Him." This past year's experiences undoubtedly has left me with a knowledge that God lives. When faced with insurmountable fears and uncertainty, he "strengthened my back" and opened up my Red Sea that was before me. I think God permits these life experiences so that we will remember his grace, his goodness, his love. It is in these extremities that we come to know him.

To celebrate I treated myself to a session at the Salt Lake temple and a late night of finishing a book, Return to Red Castle. A backpacking trip to Red Castle in the Uintas is in the works for this summer so I knew I needed to revisit this book that I had read as a teenager.

Well, it was definitely fluff and kept me up late finishing it. Despite being a cheesy escape novel, it was worth reading again as the hike into this lake called Red Castle was described in the book. I'm excited to visit this summer. I'm also discovering that rereading books I read in my youth leaves me with a much different taste than I had the first time I read them.

Maybe this is why reading the scriptures over and over again is so valuable. With each read, I discover new insights simply because life is different with each reading.

My celebrating continued the next day as I cleaned out my pantry, fridge, and freezer. I cranked the music loud and went to town. I have projects to finish that I had to abandon for awhile. I have books to read and another half marathon to retrain for. Life is finally beginning to feel normal again. Whatever normal is. It seems like we have this certain story that we like to tell about our life and how it's going to be. But really, does anyone ever live the story they started out to write? There's always twist in the plot that you never seem to see coming. But it always gets solved one way or another. It's the plot twists that makes a good life story, isn't it?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Some funnies

*Alex was in the car with Tyler and me. He was playing some sort of word game on his Kindle when he piped up from the backseat, "Mom, do you know any 4-letter words that start with S?"

Hmmm . . . I sure do :)

*I had a student call me Alexa the other day. It's a title I'm not sure I've mastered yet.

*I also left a note on the board for my students to write me a post-it with something they learned that day (they had a sub).