Tender mercies

I recently finished a book titled An Unseen Angel, written by the mother of a little girl who was killed at the Sandy Hook Elementary several years ago. The book was touching but what resonated with me in regards to my current life situation is this mother wanting desperately for God to give her a glimpse of her daughter's new life.

I too feel that way on many occasions. It's been eight months since we received word of a job loss. A new job has come along but it's not ideal and it won't pay the mortgage for long. My job for the past 18 years has been full-time mom so it's not so easy just to step into a good paying job that will help make up the difference.

I have been doing everything in my power to move forward but at some point you come to understand that you are powerless and need God to intervene and work his mighty miracles.

I too have felt like this mom, Alissa Parker. I just want to know what my so-called "new life" will look like.

Will I be able to land that teaching job?
Will we end up having to sell our beautiful home and yard that we've devoted so much of our time and ourselves to and start over again somewhere else?
Will another good job come along for Tyler?
Maybe I forgo the job search and start on the Master's I've been wanting?
Will I ever feel settled enough to finally hang up that vinyl saying from last Christmas? (I know I could never take it down if we move.)


I just want to know what God's plan is in all this because I've been spinning wheels and I'm not sure what my life should look like right now.

Only God can see what lies ahead. There are many days I wish and pray for just a glimpse. And on those days (like today) when I hide in my closet and cry out in fear and frustration, I have to remember the tender mercies and sweet little answers he gives me.

About a month ago the front of our sacrament program was a this quote by President Hinckley, the ever optimist.

And then a few weeks ago we sang How Firm a Foundation, the typical three verses. During the sacrament I decided to read through the other verses and was touched. I felt like my Father in Heaven was reaching out to me that day. Every verse gave me hope and strength that the Lord will give me aid, he'll strengthen me, he will be with me, this trial shall be a blessing.

May I have courage to never forsake when the days and months get long and hard and I begin to question the point of it all.

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

In ev'ry condition--in sickness, in health,
In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov'reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still, like lambs shall they still,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

Fathers

This has been the week for the fathers in my life.

Monday Tyler and I celebrated 20 years of marriage and for 18 of those he's been the father of my children. Last fall I was in the early stages of planning a celebratory trip to somewhere but that came to a screeching halt when a job loss thrust itself upon us. Instead we bought ourselves a tree to plant (which is a little more permanent anyway) and went to a play at the Desert Star Playhouse.

That little tree is another white fir to match the others in the back area that is slowly becoming our "camping" spot. He also surprised me with a picnic table and some quote posters for a classroom I hope to have some day.

Tyler is patient, good-natured, and works hard for our family. Our kids enjoy quoting movie lines with him which unfortunately go right over my head, and he is great to include Erik and Nate in his weekly basketball group of guys.

My dad celebrated his 65th birthday on Tuesday and now has full access to all the senior citizen discounts. Oh, how fortunate I am to have him around as he wasn't so lucky with his own dad. He is one of the hardest working people I've ever known and I give credit to him for my strong work ethic. He taught me how to get up early, work hard, and have pride in a job well done. He often worked right along side us which is something I've tried to do with my own kids.

The man never tires of creating new things:

tree houses . . . then

and now

swimming pools . . . then

and now

sand boxes

He isn't a man who needs much. This was a tv he got for one of his birthdays that we had for years and years. I think it might be smaller than the screen on my laptop.

He made camping fun.

He was and is a spiritual leader in our home, expounding the scriptures to us which helped me develop a love for the gospel. He is my rock and the mentor I turn to for advice. His unwavering steadiness is a trait I admire greatly in my dad.

His own father passed away very young when my dad was only 31.

I can't imagine what that would have been like to not be able to call your dad for help and assurance. He had to navigate the land of fatherhood basically on his own and I think he's done a pretty swell job.

I love both of these men in my life who take the title of father.

Friendversary

Today Kiersten and her friend Rachel are celebrating their 12-year friendversary.

Rachel loves to gift her with a box of random stuff and they have been reminiscing and doing all childhood things like coloring with crayons and chalk and baking chocolate chip cookies.

I loved listening to their reminiscences of growing up and Rachel telling Kiersten how she always had to go home at 5pm. I was quick to tell her that was in a day when we actually had dinner at a consistent hour.

At Stansbury Days many years ago, they won the cardboard boat race. Actually they won the Titanic award when their boat took on water, forcing them to swim.



Everybody needs good friends you can rely on when life takes on water and you find yourself trying to keep your head above water.


I love that they've maintained their friendship after our move. Even though it was only three miles away, it makes it a little harder when you don't live right down the street.

Graduation

Queen Bee has buzzed off to a new hive for the summer.

She left us tonight for Brighton Beehive Camp and is in for the experience of a lifetime. She has also become quite proficient at adulting as she and her friend Brianna took Ashlyn on a road trip all by themselves. Okay, it was just to grandma's but she is loving this freedom that 18 brings.

For graduation her grandpa gifted her with a car . . . because her parents wouldn't. Isn't he the best!

E.T.

I guess that title could stand for Erik Tyler. But not today.

Alex has watched this movie at least four times this week. I'm not even sure where he came across it.

That was a huge movie when I was his age. As a second grader, the local library held a contest for anyone who wanted to draw E.T. I am no artist by today's standards, but I must have fooled them 34 years ago because I was one of three winners.

I remember that day just like it was yesterday getting all dressed up to go down to the library to have my picture taken for the paper, and I had to have it taken with a 6th grader!!! He was so old!!! Seriously, that's how I felt at the time.


But, hey, I won three -- not two, not one -- THREE free copies from the library. Now, what second grader is going to need copies? A free book would have been nice. Or a movie pass. I can think of a whole lot more cooler stuff than free copies. Jealous, aren't ya :)


These are the days of . . . 
* swim lessons

* tennis (it's turning in to a year-round sport at our house)

* taking care of the neighborhood while everyone is vacationing in exotic places

* AND taking care of the neighborhood means some mishaps -- Nate mowed over a sprinkler head which was too far out of the ground which entailed a trip to Home Depot, praying they had the right head and a few hours of replacing and making sure it worked. Nate graciously paid up for the part and for our time and gas. At first I was inclined to just give it back and say it was just a mistake that hopefully he learned from. But Tyler reminded me about Kiersten's little accident with the truck and how we had her pay half. So we decided to do the same with Nate. We'd rather they learn these mistakes with little incidents rather than the big, major ones.

Where to start . . .

Kiersten played in her last high school orchestra concert. I sure hope she continues playing somehow during college.

Erik had a birthday

on the same day as Siesta

and seminary graduation. Kiersten and her friend Brianna were asked to play a musical number for it.

I got to sub Ash's class and Alex's in the same day.

Kiersten had an awards assembly and got lots of accolades.

And then we had two graduations on the same day. Ash graduated from 6th grade

and Kiersten graduated from Stansbury High held at the University of Utah. Picture overload tomorrow . . . maybe the next . . . or maybe sometime next week. But here's two of my favorites.