Time Out for Women

Several months ago I had a friend ask me about attending Time Out for Women. I've been once before and have loved going to Education Week and Women's Conference. And how fun it would be to go with Kiersten also. My friend signed both of us up.

It  came at a much needed time in my life where I was needing a little lifting and reprieve from the burdens of life.

I came home feeling my load lighter, not that anything has changed, but that my spirit and hope had been re-energized. There was a lot of laughter, a lot of tears, a lot of song, a lot of good feelings. Love those endorphins.

Some of my highlights:

*God sends messages in ways that are so personal to each of us in our own language
*When you choose God, you will never be the same -- MICHAEL MCLEAN (my favorite speaker)

*You're gonna need some faith in the middle to keep you moving forward -- HILARY WEEKS (really needed this)

*Celebrate the everyday miracles
*Assume the best
*Never hold back a compliment

*God does not answer our prayers the way we want. He answers them better -- always better -- ALISSA PARKER (lost a daughter at Sandy Hook Elementary)

*Church is a support group for Christians

*God will give us 6 goods before giving us the very good
*Jesus is always looking up and seeing people -- S. MICHAEL WILCOX

*We get so concerned with the beginnings and endings that our middles are a little restless -- MERCY RIVER

*Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good

*There is a difference between God allowing things to happen to us and willing things to happen -- LAUREL DAY

*Sometimes following the spirit makes us uncomfortable -- LISA VALENTINE CLARK

This last one reminded me of some advice given to me from my wonderful bishop:

Periodically we are allowed to see the wisdom in the test. One thing I know: this life is about growth more than it is about safety, security, recreation, or control. In fact, growth often only comes when we lose safety, security, and control.

These are the days of . . . 

*pie and thanksgiving -- the one thing I am most grateful for this season is the gift of prayer

*waiting -- those boys above are waiting for pie (so glad Linda snapped this picture) and we are waiting for job interview results

*Alex and George, his side-kick stuffed monkey

My way or the Lord's way

My favorite general conference talk was by Elder Nattress: "No Greater Joy Than to Know That They Know." I received a strong impression that we were to start reading the Book of Mormon as a family again, starting immediately. For the past three years we have been reading the book of scripture that the seminary students are reading and this year we were working our way through the New Testament.

The next morning "I Nephi" commenced.

Recently we read of Nephi breaking his bow. In 1 Nephi 16:18 it says nothing of breaking the arrows, just the bow. A few verses later, Nephi tell us of crafting a new bow AND new arrows. Now, why couldn't he have just made a new bow to go with the old arrows he still had?

We have a gentleman in our ward who has been shooting bows and arrows since he was very small. He commented one day in Sunday School that Joseph Smith, with his limited background, could not have known that bows and arrows go together. You break a bow, you make new arrows to go with that bow. What an interesting insight from an expert in the field.

I was also thinking about Nephi and his brothers having to return to Jerusalem to obtain the brass plates, or the scriptures.

The first attempt recorded in 1 Nephi 3:10-11 has Nephi and his brothers consulting with one another about what to do and then casting lots as to who was going to simply go ask for the plates.

Ya, that didn't work.

The second attempt in verse 22 has them trying to purchase the plates from Laban.

Yep. Didn't work.

At this point they are frustrated and angry and ready to give up. On their third attempt, Nephi heads into Jerusalem being "led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do."

Ding, ding, ding! This time he was successful. 

So what made all the difference?

The first couple of times, those brothers, Nephi included, tried to do things their own way, using their own wisdom and understanding, their own skills. Not until Nephi followed the Spirit were they successful.

Is there something you are badly in need of? Something you desperately desire? [Our little family understands a little about needing something desperately, like employment for instance  :)]

The Lord knew how to get those plates and he knows how to help us obtain what we righteously desire and are in need of. Listening and heeding the Spirit of God is the key.

I have a bishop who is so good at following the Spirit's direction. That is a gift I greatly desire and am working on.

These are the days of . . . 
*working my first full week -- I think that 6th grade class liked me.

*basketball tryouts -- Erik attempted again for the high school team and was cut again. What courage. I don't think I would have tried a third time.

*early morning math -- Ash was nominated to be a part of a special early morning math team with a competition coming up in February.

*fasting and prayer

*a great friend and visiting teacher who invited me to be a part of her sealing session -- I haven't done sealings since I got married and that was a special experience.

*making consecrated bread for the sacrament with my Laurels -- We are so close to completing Mel's personal progress for her.

When life hands you a lemon . . .

It's been two weeks since news of our job loss was announced, and I am so in awe at the many good, thoughtful people I am surrounded by.

Last week an acquaintance from church stopped by with a potted bulb to brighten up my day. She could tell that the Sunday before I was struggling. What remarkable kindness. Her sweet gesture will be something I'll always remember.

My brother-in-law on my side of the family called Tyler the other day, asking how he was doing. His concern meant a lot to Ty.

Today, my relief society president dropped a 25 pound bag of flour off on my doorstep. Her family has recently been diagnosed with allergies to gluten and can no longer use it. What generosity. I'm sure there are a myriad of others who could use it more than we. I also love that she is staying true to her Lake Point heritage and buying "peacock" flour :) Anyone who visits our little town will know that peacocks are our trademark by the many that roost in the trees and roam the streets freely.

I also received 4 different text messages today asking how I was doing in addition to my dad checking on us and along with many Facebook messages.

I am so blessed to know so many good-to-the-bone people. May I always remember to be more like them.

These are the days of . . . 
*a new job for Kiersten -- working at McDonald's
*a new job for Erik -- he quit Hometown Pizza and his crazy manager to try Del Taco
*candy, LOTS of Halloween candy
*straight A's for all our kids

Game on

Last Sunday was not a good day. Not only did the future look bleak but there were several other weights heaped on my shoulders that were totally unrelated to the job loss announcement we had received. 

Life felt very heavy.

There are still many unknowns but I'm feeling way more confident this week.

As a family we have cut down our spending to the very minimal. However, the hardest to give up has been the Dish bill. The Jazz just started their season and its rumored to be a good one. And our Dish hard drive houses a lot of movies we may end up losing, should we cut it.

I know, I know. Cry me a river.

Kiersten commented, "We are not good a being poor."

Game on, girl.

About a month ago, Kiersten and I did a little tour of Utah Valley University. She's narrowed her college choices down to either this school or Utah State and was feeling pretty certain she wants to attend UVU. But to help in the decision process I signed the whole family up for a tour to Utah State in Logan because, hey, free Aggie ice cream.

Tyler mentioned that there was a home football game that night and I should see about possible discount tickets. So I called and scored not discount tickets but FREE tickets.

Life did a topsy turvy and despite trying to save money by limiting our gas, Tyler and I decided this trip still needed to happen. So began our day of experimentation: could we spend a day in Logan on little or no money?

On our way we stopped into Costco to have tires rotated: $0 for rotation.

Lunch was tailgated out of our cooler at the bottom of Old Main Hill: $0 since it all came from our house.

Took the tour of campus and felt like I had come home after 18 years. School was in session; students were about; it was nostalgic: $0 for tour.

Coupons were awarded for Aggie ice cream: $0 for single scoop cups.

Visited the Deseret Industries. Ty is the only household member without any USU gear. He rummaged and found a t-shirt for $1. I found a book, The First Days of School for $1.50 and a piece of sheet music for $.50. (I'm leaning pretty heavily toward becoming an elementary teacher and getting my masters, hence the book seemed invaluable): $3.00 for our total purchases.

Got into Sam's Club on an expired card and tried every sample for dinner. Cheap? Yep. At the end of our sample tour we got a couple of pizza slices and hot dogs: $6 or $1 per person.

We made it through the first quarter of the game relatively dry before the rains hit in a steady downpour. By halftime we were all drowned little rats ready for home. All of except Ash who stayed home due to sickness. Football tickets: $0.

Are we good at being poor? I think we did a mighty fine job on our jaunt to Logan. That little day trip, besides the gas, cost us $9 total.

After our fun day, Kiersten is still pretty sure she wants to be a Wolverine rather than an Aggie. These are not easy decisions and I hope those folks at UVU pull through and get her that scholarship she deserves.

These are the days of . . .
*much fasting and prayer
*being poor
*sprucing up resumes
*job applications

Biggest Loser

Wanna lose weight? Well, I've got the perfect antidote. Just have your husband conveniently lose his job and that should take care of it.

True story. Happened to me this week. I'm down two pounds. Some people head for the refrigerator when the hurricane hits and I lock it to keep the vulturous children at bay. We're battening down the hatches and are looking for ways to ride this storm out.

It's been somewhat of a roller coaster ride these past two weeks. One week Kiersten secured a scholarship to Utah State University,  a presidential scholarship that pays for tuition and fees for four years awarded to her on the spot, and the next week I'm thinking that $27000 could really come in handy.

I've tried to have faith and hope and optimism. And then my human side surfaces with my tears and fears and more tears. (Hey Tears for Fears . . . isn't that some kind of '80s rock group?) I won't lie. It's been a tumultuous week as life as we know it imploded.

I try to look at the bright side and see that his termination could have been immediately. At least they are giving him until the end of the year. I've kept my food storage pretty constant so we can live off that for awhile, along with my meager paychecks.

God is good and very much at the helm. We're stepping out in the dark, battling some big unknowns. That is what faith is made of.

Are we going to let fear guide the way or faith?

Pray for us? We need all those heaven-sent petitions.

Oh, and if you know of any retirement/401k/pension jobs . . .ya, we're kind of in need of one of those too.

These are the days of . . . 
*layoffs
*tears and lots of them

Come Follow Me

When I got this calling I wanted to change things up a bit regarding Sunday lessons. In the past the presidency rotated teaching the first Sunday of the month and the adviser taught the remaining Sundays. I've found I love teaching. I love seeing those light bulb moments. I love studying. There are some days when the lesson goes well and others where it seems to fall flat and as I've pondered why those lessons don't reach their mark, I've found that I've relied too much on myself and my own learning.

This newish curriculum for the youth, Come Follow Me, is awesome. If implemented correctly it's supposed to make my girls more of the teacher where I'm more of the facilitator. I know some teachers might think this gives them a freebie to sit back and not prepare. But here's a few things I've learned and discovered in the past couple of months about becoming a great teacher.

OLD: The teacher was a disseminator of knowledge and information. They put in the effort and time to prepare and study for the lesson and the student's job was to listen, take notes, and give a comment or two.

NEW: The teacher is required to study and study A LOT to be prepared for whichever direction the students choose to take it. That means most of the time you most likely will not share anywhere close to the material you studied. But when you've paid the price for study, the Holy Ghost is able to "bring all things to your remembrance" (John 14:26) in the very hour that you need it. Without study, it simply doesn't work.

OLD: The teacher did the majority of talking.

NEW: The students do the talking. The teacher is there to offer insights and keep the discussion from derailing. A teacher should do no more than 10% of the talking. And a lesson plan? Well, half a sheet of notes is probably sufficient.

OLD: Silence was NOT golden.

NEW: Silence is key to allowing the Holy Ghost to function. Wait for those responses. They will come. And that is where testimonies are strengthened. A testimony is found in the bearing of it not in the hearing someone else testify.

OLD: Sunday school questions will always get Sunday school answers.

NEW: Great questions require thinking and pondering and open up the discussion.

OLD: Note taking was about writing down everything the teacher had to say as quickly as possibly.

NEW: Note taking involves recording more the impressions and thoughts that come to us through the Holy Ghost about the subject we are discussing and invites us to act on those impressions.

OLD: The teacher answered all the questions.

NEW: Help students prepare to learn for a lifetime. You know the old proverbial phrase "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." Teach your students to find answers to their own gospel questions and they will have a valuable tool.

I guess the whole idea with this curriculum is to have the students take responsibility for their own learning and growth. They learn so much more when they've put into practice the doctrines and principles taught. And they learn even more when they've actually taught it to someone else.

What's happening in my yard
Just getting ready for fall. My chocolate flowers are putting on quite the display by our front porch. They also smell quite divine, like you're devouring chocolate at the See's chocolate store.

These are the days of . . . 
*College campus tours. Kiersten and I toured UVU on Friday. She's thrown this school into her mix. She can basically go where she'd like with her ACT score and awesome grades.

*Poldark. I read the first book and am loving the second season of the miniseries that is on at the moment.

Book Reviews

Last month Ty asked me to accompany him on a business trip to Portland. Heck ya! I love to fly and I love to get away. For three days I got time for just me and I read. Heavenly.

Ty and I also found mature trees of several we are thinking about for our yard.

We went hiking amidst waterfalls

and discovered a great little Korean restaurant.

Powell's Books, our favorite bookstore which literally takes up a city block, is also a must when we make it to Portland.

Not only did I get back to my favorite bookstore, but I think I broke a record for the number of books finished last month. (Note that I said finished. That does not mean I began and finished all these in one month.) I love to read but am finding it increasingly difficult to read as much as I'd like. A couple of months ago I made a commitment to myself to read more. It hasn't been easy. I carry a book with me at all times and I've given up my 10pm news watching in favor of reading.

The Secrets of Mary Bowser
I discovered this book while subbing an English class one day and gifted a copy to Kiersten. She devoured it in 2 days. I took a little longer. It's based on a real black, slave woman during the time of the Civil War. She is educated and lands a job working in the Gray House or the house that the confederate president, President Jefferson David occupied in Richmond, Virginia. Mary Bowser serves as a spy for the Union as she cleans the keeps house. Reading this book made me realize how much she might have done to help the Union win. But I also got a taste of what life for a free, black woman in the north might have been like and how those same prejudices were very much a part of their culture despite their freedoms. 

Letters to a Young Mormon
This short little composition of essays or letters to his children was beautifully written. It is one I will digest again and again.

"Like everyone, you have a story you want your life to tell. You have your own way of doing things and your own way of thinking about things. . . . As the heavens are higher than the earth, God's work in your life is bigger than the story you'd like that life to tell. His life is bigger than your plans, goals, or fears. To save your life, you'll have to lay down your stories, and minute by minute, day by day, give your life back to him. Preferring your stories to his life is sin. . . . Faith isn't about getting God to play a more and more central part in your story. Faith is about sacrificing your story on his altar."

Zucchini Pie
I just couldn't like this book at all. I tried but it painfully dragged on and on. The characters were cheesy. The scenarios were too far-fetched. The author tried to wrap up all these family problems in a short week between when grandma died and the funeral. It just wasn't real to me. I didn't care for the way the book was set up and the writing was subpar. I don't think I would have picked this book up except it was for a book club -- and not everyone has to like the book selection, right? :)

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
I listened to the first half of this book, and while I liked the change in characters' voices, I felt like it dragged. The second half I finished reading the book and the pace seemed a little better. The writing was okay, although I don't think he portrayed 1986 very accurately, like he forgot what decade he was writing about.

This story about love across cultures and a Japanese interment camp is heartbreaking, and I shake my head every time I read about these and wonder how we, as a country, could do the same thing to our people that was happening in Germany at the same time. I came away from this book wanting to communicate better with my children and to be accepting of who they might bring through our front door.

Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island
Wow. What a book of resiliency and strength in children who are left to basically raise themselves and actually come out of the system as contributing adults to society. This book reminded me a lot of The Glass Castle. It was eye opening into the world of foster care where some are in it strictly for the money and others actually do it to help lives. And the mother. Are there seriously people like her. I kept wanting to believe she was a fictional character and might have some redemptive characteristics. Nope. She had no business having children. This book has a couple dozen F words. I cringe when I read it but understand that it was who these people were and how they spoke. The author was remaining true to dialogue.