God is in the details, even (especially) when they change

I stole that blog title from a post I saw this past week. I loved it and have been thinking about it . . . a lot. God is in the details of our lives and most especially when life blindsides you with a drastic change. It is in those moments that I am reminded that my life's story is really about the story God has in place for me. It's about the story I covenanted to live before coming to this earth. And sometimes I have to be reminded that my life story may not really be what I envisioned.

Three years ago the story of my life was reading like a horribly boring book (INSERT: At Home in Mitford, a book club book with no plot or climax that very nearly brought me to tears as I struggled to finish it). I was comfortable. Really comfortable. Tyler had a great job. I was working as a sub when I felt like it. My kids were all doing well. I was looking forward to having all my kids in school all day (none of that half day kindergarten nonsense that messes with your whole day). And then like any good story, it quickly became a page turner where I wasn't sure how my story was going to end. But unlike most page turners that keep me up, I wasn't sure I wanted to find out either.

Three years later, I did finish that installment. And I'm still here to discuss it. Many of those chapters contained gut-wrenching fear. I had always considered faith to be one of my defining gifts from God, but this time I had to really struggle for it. I simply didn't trust God that he could OR WOULD somehow makes things work out.

There were also some chapters that I frankly just didn't like. I liked my old life. I was happy there. But I also know that there is no growth in being comfortable. We only grow stronger when our bodies, our minds, our spirits are stretched and hurt a little. Going back to school, starting a full-time job, sending off a missionary, planning a wedding really stretched me like a taut rubber band. I didn't break (even though there were days I didn't know that I could do another thing), but I did hurt and I now know that I am capable of doing harder things than I thought possible.

And then there were those chapters that were simply beautiful and wonderful. Sending off a missionary who is doing great things in Florida and having a daughter married and finishing college are both such good things. But moreso is that ah-ha moment when you realize that God knows you way better than you know yourself. I was pretty certain I wanted to teach upper elementary, 5th or 6th, but God knew better and put me in a much better place with a great team

and a herd of 2nd graders where I feel like I can really help them become better readers, a passion of mine.

The book I'm writing with my life story continues to grow. Recently our little communities of Stansbury Park and Lake Point have dealt with some hard tragedies. A young man decided life wasn't worth living anymore. A young girl, getting ready to graduate, was killed in a car wreck a month before graduation. A mom with four kids at home was diagnosed with cancer once week and died the next. And the author of my blog title had her young husband killed in a freak accident while on duty in Afghanistan, leaving her with seven children to raise by herself.

I'm sure these families were not expecting their life stories to change so drastically from the original outline. It's hard to understand the whys when you're smack dab in the middle and the story is still unresolved and you just want a miracle NOW. That muddled middle is not a fun place to be. But this much I do know. God is most certainly in that muddled middle with us with his muck boots on and mud up to his elbows. This is where miracles do occur maybe just not how we expect them to. He knows the end from the beginning and is the coauthor of your life story.  Trust that story to God and the ending will always leave you wanting more.