self-esteem or self-confidence

When my kids were little I read a lot of parenting books in hopes of becoming a better mom. I wanted to be a great mom and loved to get ideas from others on how to make that happen (Richard and Linda Eyre in particular).

I put some ideas to work and our family has continued to grow. But we are on the verge of entering the teenage years and I'M REALLY EXCITED! I believe that everything hinges on my attitude as a mother. I'm ready to embrace it and have fun with it, but most importantly I want them to have CONFIDENCE. Any child who has confidence will not only survive the teenage years but thrive and come out successful.

I've never been fond of the word self-esteem, and frankly, I think the whole self-esteem business is highly overrated. Give me a child with self-confidence instead and I'll give you a child who is a motivator, a leader, a contributor, happy, thinks of others. A child who is confident will grow up to accomplish great things because he was taught as a child to accomplish small things.

So how do I help them accomplish the little things? I put them to WORK . . . in the kitchen on this particular day.

Nate came to me the other day bored. So instead to telling him to go do something, I suggested we make cookies. At first he balked at the idea and didn't want to do it. But we headed to the kitchen and it was there that I realized he had never cracked an egg (small things). We had a great time and he discovered something about himself: he loves cooking. In five days he's made cookies, muffins, helped with a roast dinner, and helped make japchae (a favorite Korean dish). (Don't you love the red Koolaid moustache?)

A day or so after introducing Nate to the kitchen, I sat Ash on my lap and we went through all the things she's good at and put a letter on each finger for each talent. B for babysit Alex, R for reading, M for math, S for soccer, E for exercise, etc. (an idea from the Eyres).

Nate saw her fingers and wanted the same thing done for him. And ya know what the first talent he mentioned was? Cooking. In front of soccer, math, reading.

I am so glad I took the mommy moment with Nate to bake some cookies. I think it has made all the difference in helping him become more confident. He now knows he can walk in that kitchen and know where to find the flour, know how to measure salt, know how to pack brown sugar, know how to turn the oven on and set the timer.

(Just to clarify something about this photo: I'm not really as fat as this picture makes me look. I'm leaning against the shiny counter and it's reflecting my sweatshirt.)