I too feel that way on many occasions. It's been eight months since we received word of a job loss. A new job has come along but it's not ideal and it won't pay the mortgage for long. My job for the past 18 years has been full-time mom so it's not so easy just to step into a good paying job that will help make up the difference.
I have been doing everything in my power to move forward but at some point you come to understand that you are powerless and need God to intervene and work his mighty miracles.
I too have felt like this mom, Alissa Parker. I just want to know what my so-called "new life" will look like.
Will I be able to land that teaching job?
Will we end up having to sell our beautiful home and yard that we've devoted so much of our time and ourselves to and start over again somewhere else?
Will another good job come along for Tyler?
Maybe I forgo the job search and start on the Master's I've been wanting?
Will I ever feel settled enough to finally hang up that vinyl saying from last Christmas? (I know I could never take it down if we move.)
I just want to know what God's plan is in all this because I've been spinning wheels and I'm not sure what my life should look like right now.
Only God can see what lies ahead. There are many days I wish and pray for just a glimpse. And on those days (like today) when I hide in my closet and cry out in fear and frustration, I have to remember the tender mercies and sweet little answers he gives me.
About a month ago the front of our sacrament program was a this quote by President Hinckley, the ever optimist.
And then a few weeks ago we sang How Firm a Foundation, the typical three verses. During the sacrament I decided to read through the other verses and was touched. I felt like my Father in Heaven was reaching out to me that day. Every verse gave me hope and strength that the Lord will give me aid, he'll strengthen me, he will be with me, this trial shall be a blessing.
May I have courage to never forsake when the days and months get long and hard and I begin to question the point of it all.
How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?
In ev'ry condition--in sickness, in health,
In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov'reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still, like lambs shall they still,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.
The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake!
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