Christmas 2017

*Santa letters went high-tech this year. I've been playing around with all things Google lately and Santa needed some input as to what the college student was needing. This was the easiest way.

Some of those responses . . .

*Kiersten and Jason finally made an appearance. Carroll and Sharon also came over for our yearly pizza get together. We had toyed with the idea of having Carroll meet Jason at the door clothed in camo brandishing his rifle and knives. Jason was cool about the whole pseudo meeting with a response of "Where are we going?" He is quite a likeable kid.

*Our freezer, oven, and iron all colluded to break on the same day, two days before Christmas. Thankfully we have an extra oven; we put blankets over the freezer until we could get to the store on the 26th -- Merry Christmas to us; and the new iron was free when we used our points from buying the freezer. Ash and Alex took the huge box and made a fort which they've been sleeping in every night.

*Yearly slideshow. This is probably my most favorite gift to give each year to my family. It takes a lot of time but so worth it as we watch every Christmas Eve and reminisce about the past year. This year I used an online program which included a link for viewing. So you're welcome. In case you didn't get enough of my family this year.

*Christmas Eve snow is so magical. And a couple of our crew performed a good deed Christmas morning by shoveling the neighbor's driveway.

*After 10 years my blog header got a face lift thanks to Erik and his crazy design skills.

He also put those design skills to work in his graphic design class by making each family member something -- puzzles, t-shirts, mugs -- and included a cute little poem with each. We had a poet and didn't even know it!

*I tried making a cheesecake for the first time. The Cheesecake Factory has nothing on us.

And . . .

*I joined the old lady club and got me some reading glasses. I see fine but trying to decipher my microscopic writing in my scriptures was pretty much impossible. 


That face pretty much sums up how I feel about 2017. Some years are just worse than others. BUT . . . to sum up Jimmy Cliff:

It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny [year].

At least I'm hoping for a good 2018.

The Forgotten People

Several weeks ago my sister passed along an email that she got from work. She works for Rhodes Bake-n-serv. You know the people who make the frozen rolls and bread. Her company is always looking for ways to improve their employees and work environment. This particular email came to her from The Arbinger Institute, a company who tries to help individuals and organizations move from an inward mindset to an outward mindset.

It was all about remembering the forgotten people in our lives.

I read and then stopped to think about the "forgotten" people in my life and how I might serve them this Christmas.

My thoughts went to our dentist. Shortly after moving to Salt Lake, Tyler and I sought out a dentist. Back then nobody had a web page but instead advertised in the phone book. Dr. Pettit was close and looked friendly enough.

Nineteen years, five kids, two crowns, one root canal, and quite a few fillings later we still are making the biannual trip to Salt Lake for our cleanings. He is pretty much family to us. In fact when I had to cancel our cleanings last spring due to lack of insurance, my kids were quite morose [probably because it meant no video games while they wait their turn :)]

Pettit Dental was the "forgotten" people in our life and I set about making a loaf of bread for each dental employee. It's not very often that we visit the dentist right before Christmas and we were excited to be able to give something back after so many years.

My thoughts also went to remembering those times in our lives that are easily forgotten once we've moved on. Like the young mom with little children who thinks she will always be changing diapers and wiping noses. Or the new family in the neighborhood. It's not easy moving to a new area, wondering how you're going to fit in. Or for me, it's the substitute who shows up to our special needs class for the day. Those were some awkward subbing jobs when I would walk into a special ed class full of other paras busily doing their morning routines and nobody really acknowledged me. I try very hard to make our substitutes feel at home and because of my efforts one of those substitutes has become someone I would call my friend.

REMEMBER: One of the most important words in the dictionary.

Stalled yearnings and wrenched heart strings

I have a friend who is where I was a year ago. She has a senior who will be graduating and then off to who knows where. My friend is also in the middle of a pretty messy remodel due to something beyond her control that has dragged on for way too long (this is not where we were a year ago, thankfully). As she has imagined this potentially last Christmas with all her children at home, it was the image of a beautiful home all decked out in Christmas trimmings, full of magic and love and warmth and memories. Instead they are without carpet, with furniture crammed in spare rooms, and no real beds to sleep in.

And my heart strings are wrenched right along with hers.

In September of 2016 I was beginning to plan that last year we would have with all our children at home. I was researching a trip to somewhere fun and exciting. Another new adventure to strengthen those familial bonds and create lasting memories.

And then October 19 happened and those dreams and plans were put on hold.

Probably indefinitely.

A year later child number two is finishing up his first half of his senior year and those dreams and plans are still on hold. I thought for sure things would be different and I could reconvene with my plans before the second child left home.

And I've grieved over those silly little plans. My plans for my family. 

This past year may not have been what I've wanted, but we are still a family, making lasting memories as we serve together, as we laugh around the kitchen table, as we pray and read scripture together. I hope that years from now, my children will reflect on this period of life and say, "Remember when . . . " as they anonymously help another who has fallen on hard times. Remember is such an important word. Perhaps the most important I think.

Ob la di, ob la da, life goes on . . . 

And so it will for my friend. She is grieving over lost Christmas expectations just as I have grieved over lost opportunities. But they aren't really lost. There will still be family vacations and beautiful Christmas memories in years to come. They just may include a few extra people who have now joined the ranks we call family.

Having a senior in high school does not necessarily signal the death of an era as much as it does the birth of new beginnings.

And those stalled yearnings give us much needed patience as we wait upon the Lord, turning to him in our times of need, learning to walk and talk with him daily.

A happy birthday of sorts

On November 14th this little blog of mine turned 10.

I can't hardly believe it myself.

What started out as an experiment has truly become the real thing.

Statistics from 2011 to 2016 show that my posts were becoming less frequent, but this year I've upped it a little and surpassed last year's number.

Do I have less to say?

Not really. Just a lot less time.

Back in 2007, the beginning of 2008, I was in a Primary presidency with Karen Fox, Myken Hurst, and Trish Newby.

I was still living the dream in Stansbury Park, fulfilling my duties as treasurer and webmaster of the Stansbury Park Community Association Board, and getting ready to mail out yearly dues.

I had a 2nd grader, 1st grader, one in preschool and another still in diapers. I was helping put together a 1000 chart for Kiersten. So glad they don't do those anymore. What a waste of time.

I was teaching piano to two of my kids. One has become quite proficient and the other I'm happy to report still knows how to play Indian Dance.

I hadn't even contemplated running yet. Or maybe I had thought about it but hadn't even mastered a mile yet. That first 5k wouldn't come until part way through 2008.

I was preparing to get my first passport and make my first jaunt outside the country.

I was caught in the cylcone of vampires and werewolves with Twilight but had just finished one of my favorites The Count of Monte Cristo. In one year's time I read 18 books.

My testimony was flourishing and I had even dared to bear it out loud in church one Sunday. It's quite remarkable to look back on 10 years and see how much I have grown in my faith and testimony.

I'd have to say the last 10 years were 10 wonderful years, full of some great experiences and opportunities. I'm hoping one day I can say the same for these next 10.

Stay tuned . . .

Do unto others before they do to you

Kiersten and her assault rifle haven't managed to keep the boys away.

The entire Thanksgiving gang all knew something was up when Kiersten was itching to get back to Orem over Thanksgiving break.

Two days after our Thanksgiving festivities I got a late night phone call that we might have to go rescue Angie and Jacob in Ogden and take them back home. Kiersten got wind of this at 10pm and quickly concocted a plan for us to drop her off at her apartment in Orem, a mere 30 minute drive south from where we might be headed. It all seemed a little suspicious given the late hour.

Looking at a possible 3 hour drive to Ogden, to Saratoga Springs, and back home, I didn't want to add another hour. Luckily, their van made it home and we got to stay home all snug in our beds.

Kiersten returned to Orem the next day and six days later she called home with the news that she is now officially dating "Jason." All I know is she's known him three weeks, he's an RM from Eagle Mountain about to have another birthday, and he's her running partner.

Hmmmm.

I can't say I saw this coming.

Rules? I'm sure we had instituted some rules before she left home.

She also kindly rejected my offer to have them join us for a birthday celebration for Matt. Something about a concert at Snow College for her friend.

Hmmmm.

Maybe she really works for the Department of Defense and this is all a ruse.

Great expectations

"All frustration comes from unmet expectations. There is no such thing as someone who is frustrated who didn't have an expectation." --Dr. John L. Lund

Frustration is just another silly word for anger, resentment, displeasure, irritation. When Tyler and I were first married and trying to figure each other out (which we are still attempting to do), I would get upset and tell him that I was just frustrated. I wasn't mad, just frustrated. He would retort, "No. You're mad." And this would make me more angrier . . . I mean more frustrated. :) I've come to learn that he was right. I was upset. I expected him to act a certain way. I didn't expect to have to spell everything out for him. He should "read my mind" and know what I wanted.

Oooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooo. That is out there. That is so out in space.

I finished listening to an audio book by Dr. John Lund that is all about relationships and how to manage how tricky they are sometimes. This is the 3rd or 4th time I've listened to it in the past decade, but decided this last time that I need to review it once a year.

Don't we all have expectations for the relationships we are in. Don't we all expect the people in those relationships to act and behave a certain way whether it's our spouse, our coworker, our mother-in-law, our child, our neighbor.

And when they don't, then what? Feelings are harbored and relationships are stifled.

So . . .

Own your expectations. Don't expect anyone to read your mind. If you want the garbage taken out, say something. If you don't want your mother-in-law meddling in your affairs, say something. (This has nothing to do with my own mother-in-law who is pretty great. I scored in that department. I do know several people who really don't get along with theirs, probably because they have expectations about how they envisioned the relationship to be or maybe these mothers-in-law don't do things like their own mothers did).

Be a content communicator. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Criticism. When I am in a relationship of equals, I must ask their permission before giving advice or critiquing them. It will backfire every time if you don't.

Learn love languages. So often we give love the way we would like to be loved. Learning the way others like to receive love is essential. Just because we love to receive gifts doesn't mean everyone else will love it too.

Great expectations . . . are really not so great unless they are expectations for no one else but ourselves.

Wonder Woman

"I used to want to save the world. To end war and bring peace to mankind. But then, I glimpsed the darkness that lives within their light. I learned that inside every one of them, there will always be both. The choice each must make for themselves - something no hero will ever defeat. I've touched the darkness that lives in between the light. Seen the worst of this world, and the best. Seen the terrible things men do to each other in the name of hatred, and the lengths they'll go to for love. Now I know. Only love can save this world. So I stay. I fight, and I give... for the world I know can be. This is my mission, now. Forever."

My family can attest that I am no movie critic. I rarely make it through any movie. Except Mamma Mia and now Wonder Woman. The more I watch it, the more I really like it (and if I could, I'd remake it and take out a few unnecessary scenes to make it even more fabulous). It's just different than the other super hero movies.

I've now watched it 3.3 times since July and every time it gives me the chills, especially the scene where she removes her cloak, climbs out of the trench hole clothed in armor, and marches toward the enemy, leading the way for her comrades.

Diana was blessed with super powers to help save and heal a world. Despite having these innate abilities, she still had to train hard and improve those skills. There was work and effort involved. Gradually her life mission came into focus. I believe we all have been born with certain abilities and talents, super powers if you will, that can help bless the lives of those in our little part of the world and help us in our own life's mission.

Are we going to let them lie dormant or are we willing to turn off our screens, get off the couch, and put in some effort to magnify them in order to make this world of ours a better place to be? 

Do we hunker down in our comfortableness when we ought to climb out and engage?

Diana was not content to remain in the safety of her home or foxhole and neither should we. Comfortable and content is easy. Putting our gifts to work is hard. Sacrifice is hard. Service is hard.

Everyone has a part to play in the grand scheme of things and God has not left us alone. My patriarchal blessing has been one of the greatest tools I have in knowing who I am and the "super powers" I've been blessed with.

"You are stronger than you believe. You have greater powers than you know."