Stalled yearnings and wrenched heart strings

I have a friend who is where I was a year ago. She has a senior who will be graduating and then off to who knows where. My friend is also in the middle of a pretty messy remodel due to something beyond her control that has dragged on for way too long (this is not where we were a year ago, thankfully). As she has imagined this potentially last Christmas with all her children at home, it was the image of a beautiful home all decked out in Christmas trimmings, full of magic and love and warmth and memories. Instead they are without carpet, with furniture crammed in spare rooms, and no real beds to sleep in.

And my heart strings are wrenched right along with hers.

In September of 2016 I was beginning to plan that last year we would have with all our children at home. I was researching a trip to somewhere fun and exciting. Another new adventure to strengthen those familial bonds and create lasting memories.

And then October 19 happened and those dreams and plans were put on hold.

Probably indefinitely.

A year later child number two is finishing up his first half of his senior year and those dreams and plans are still on hold. I thought for sure things would be different and I could reconvene with my plans before the second child left home.

And I've grieved over those silly little plans. My plans for my family. 

This past year may not have been what I've wanted, but we are still a family, making lasting memories as we serve together, as we laugh around the kitchen table, as we pray and read scripture together. I hope that years from now, my children will reflect on this period of life and say, "Remember when . . . " as they anonymously help another who has fallen on hard times. Remember is such an important word. Perhaps the most important I think.

Ob la di, ob la da, life goes on . . . 

And so it will for my friend. She is grieving over lost Christmas expectations just as I have grieved over lost opportunities. But they aren't really lost. There will still be family vacations and beautiful Christmas memories in years to come. They just may include a few extra people who have now joined the ranks we call family.

Having a senior in high school does not necessarily signal the death of an era as much as it does the birth of new beginnings.

And those stalled yearnings give us much needed patience as we wait upon the Lord, turning to him in our times of need, learning to walk and talk with him daily.