What if Dr. Suess wrote the Book of Mormon?

Today's post is number 365, a full year's worth of blogging.

Today we also finished the Book of Mormon as a family for the 2nd time. I love that book more each time I finish it. It is certainly applicable to my life. Kiersten also finished it for the first time several weeks ago.

And it's dumping snow outside, the first snowfall of the year. What a magical kind of day.

So in commemoration of our second completion (which, by the way, didn't take us nearly 3 years to finish like the first go around, maybe more like 2), I offer the following question:

What If Dr. Suess Wrote the Book of Mormon?*

Nephi:
Of goodly parents I was born.
I've never drunk, I've never sworn.
This is Lehi, he's my dad.
Laman, Lemuel, they are bad.
And who is this? Why this is Sam. 

Sam:
Yes, this is Sam; Sam I am. 

Laman:
That Sam I am, that Sam I am. I do not like that Sam I am.

Sam:
In a tent, my father dwelt.

Laman:
And it's so hot, I think I'll melt.

Lemuel:
Our father's brain is out of whack. 

Laman:
Yeah, it's too hot. I'm going back.

Lehi:
Then go and get the plates my dear.

Laman:
On second thought, I'm staying here.

Nephi:
You said you'd leave and go away.
Now all you want to do is stay? 

Lemuel:
That Nephi always gets his way.

Laman:
Here we are in this damp cave.

Sam:
We would not be here if you'd behave.

Nephi:
I will go and I will do.
There's the angel, that's my cue.
Laban's had too much to drink.
Now he'll lose his head, I think.

Nephi:
Look what I found, a brother from the quorum.

Sam:
We will take him home, we will call him Zoram.

Laman:
Our gold and silver we have spent.
I do not like it in this tent.

Lemuel:
I cannot read the Liahona.
I must have drunk too much Corona.

Laman:
We hate it here, we have no lives.

Lehi:
Then go back to the city and get some wives.

Lehi:
A tree, a tree, I see a tree!!
The fruit is white, the fruit is free!
A floating building, could it be?
Why do they laugh and stare at me?
Laman, Lemuel, come and see! 

Laman:
We will not eat your precious fruit.

Lemuel:
We will not wear a tie and suit.

Laman:
We will not help you build your boat.

Lemuel:
We do not think that it will float.

Laman:
No, not this boat.
It will not float.
Not even in a shallow moat.
I do not care what Nephi wrote.

Lemuel:
We will not eat your fruit I say.

Laman:
We will not eat it on a tray.

Lemuel:
And we won't eat it in a tent.
Not even if your clothes you rent.

Laman:
We'd rather have a can of spam.

L&L:
We will not eat it, Sam I am.

Sam:
You do not like it, so you say.
Try it, try it, and you may.
Try it and you may I say.

Laman:
Sam, if you will let us be, we will try it, you will see.

L&L: Say, we like this fruit of life.
Sorry that we caused such strife.
You've saved us from an awful jam.
Thank you, thank you, Sam I am!

*This little poem was in my files from many years ago. I certainly am not taking credit but I'm really not sure who to attribute it to.