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Several weeks ago my sister passed along an email that she got from work. She works for Rhodes Bake-n-serv. You know the people who make the frozen rolls and bread. Her company is always looking for ways to improve their employees and work environment. This particular email came to her from The Arbinger Institute, a company who tries to help individuals and organizations move from an inward mindset to an outward mindset.
It was all about remembering the forgotten people in our lives.
I read and then stopped to think about the "forgotten" people in my life and how I might serve them this Christmas.
My thoughts went to our dentist. Shortly after moving to Salt Lake, Tyler and I sought out a dentist. Back then nobody had a web page but instead advertised in the phone book. Dr. Pettit was close and looked friendly enough.
Nineteen years, five kids, two crowns, one root canal, and quite a few fillings later we still are making the biannual trip to Salt Lake for our cleanings. He is pretty much family to us. In fact when I had to cancel our cleanings last spring due to lack of insurance, my kids were quite morose [probably because it meant no video games while they wait their turn :)]
Pettit Dental was the "forgotten" people in our life and I set about making a loaf of bread for each dental employee. It's not very often that we visit the dentist right before Christmas and we were excited to be able to give something back after so many years.
My thoughts also went to remembering those times in our lives that are easily forgotten once we've moved on. Like the young mom with little children who thinks she will always be changing diapers and wiping noses. Or the new family in the neighborhood. It's not easy moving to a new area, wondering how you're going to fit in. Or for me, it's the substitute who shows up to our special needs class for the day. Those were some awkward subbing jobs when I would walk into a special ed class full of other paras busily doing their morning routines and nobody really acknowledged me. I try very hard to make our substitutes feel at home and because of my efforts one of those substitutes has become someone I would call my friend.
REMEMBER: One of the most important words in the dictionary.
I have a friend who is where I was a year ago. She has a senior who will be graduating and then off to who knows where. My friend is also in the middle of a pretty messy remodel due to something beyond her control that has dragged on for way too long (this is not where we were a year ago, thankfully). As she has imagined this potentially last Christmas with all her children at home, it was the image of a beautiful home all decked out in Christmas trimmings, full of magic and love and warmth and memories. Instead they are without carpet, with furniture crammed in spare rooms, and no real beds to sleep in.
And my heart strings are wrenched right along with hers.
In September of 2016 I was beginning to plan that last year we would have with all our children at home. I was researching a trip to somewhere fun and exciting. Another new adventure to strengthen those familial bonds and create lasting memories.
And then October 19 happened and those dreams and plans were put on hold.
Probably indefinitely.
A year later child number two is finishing up his first half of his senior year and those dreams and plans are still on hold. I thought for sure things would be different and I could reconvene with my plans before the second child left home.
And I've grieved over those silly little plans. My plans for my family.
This past year may not have been what I've wanted, but we are still a family, making lasting memories as we serve together, as we laugh around the kitchen table, as we pray and read scripture together. I hope that years from now, my children will reflect on this period of life and say, "Remember when . . . " as they anonymously help another who has fallen on hard times. Remember is such an important word. Perhaps the most important I think.
Ob la di, ob la da, life goes on . . .
And so it will for my friend. She is grieving over lost Christmas expectations just as I have grieved over lost opportunities. But they aren't really lost. There will still be family vacations and beautiful Christmas memories in years to come. They just may include a few extra people who have now joined the ranks we call family.
Having a senior in high school does not necessarily signal the death of an era as much as it does the birth of new beginnings.
And those stalled yearnings give us much needed patience as we wait upon the Lord, turning to him in our times of need, learning to walk and talk with him daily.
On November 14th this little blog of mine turned 10.
I can't hardly believe it myself.
What started out as an experiment has truly become the real thing.
Statistics from 2011 to 2016 show that my posts were becoming less frequent, but this year I've upped it a little and surpassed last year's number.
Do I have less to say?
Not really. Just a lot less time.
Back in 2007, the beginning of 2008, I was in a Primary presidency with Karen Fox, Myken Hurst, and Trish Newby.
I was still living the dream in Stansbury Park, fulfilling my duties as treasurer and webmaster of the Stansbury Park Community Association Board, and getting ready to mail out yearly dues.
I had a 2nd grader, 1st grader, one in preschool and another still in diapers. I was helping put together a 1000 chart for Kiersten. So glad they don't do those anymore. What a waste of time.
I was teaching piano to two of my kids. One has become quite proficient and the other I'm happy to report still knows how to play Indian Dance.
I hadn't even contemplated running yet. Or maybe I had thought about it but hadn't even mastered a mile yet. That first 5k wouldn't come until part way through 2008.
I was preparing to get my first passport and make my first jaunt outside the country.
I was caught in the cylcone of vampires and werewolves with Twilight but had just finished one of my favorites The Count of Monte Cristo. In one year's time I read 18 books.
My testimony was flourishing and I had even dared to bear it out loud in church one Sunday. It's quite remarkable to look back on 10 years and see how much I have grown in my faith and testimony.
I'd have to say the last 10 years were 10 wonderful years, full of some great experiences and opportunities. I'm hoping one day I can say the same for these next 10.
Stay tuned . . .
Kiersten and her assault rifle haven't managed to keep the boys away.
The entire Thanksgiving gang all knew something was up when Kiersten was itching to get back to Orem over Thanksgiving break.
Two days after our Thanksgiving festivities I got a late night phone call that we might have to go rescue Angie and Jacob in Ogden and take them back home. Kiersten got wind of this at 10pm and quickly concocted a plan for us to drop her off at her apartment in Orem, a mere 30 minute drive south from where we might be headed. It all seemed a little suspicious given the late hour.
Looking at a possible 3 hour drive to Ogden, to Saratoga Springs, and back home, I didn't want to add another hour. Luckily, their van made it home and we got to stay home all snug in our beds.
Kiersten returned to Orem the next day and six days later she called home with the news that she is now officially dating "Jason." All I know is she's known him three weeks, he's an RM from Eagle Mountain about to have another birthday, and he's her running partner.
Hmmmm.
I can't say I saw this coming.
Rules? I'm sure we had instituted some rules before she left home.
She also kindly rejected my offer to have them join us for a birthday celebration for Matt. Something about a concert at Snow College for her friend.
Hmmmm.
Maybe she really works for the Department of Defense and this is all a ruse.
